Age or experience, particularly of the Dominant seems to always been in question no matter where you are. You hear it in forums, at munches and casual gatherings. So much of what we do hinges on that little bit of information. For many submissives that I'm acquainted with, there is no question that experience is important to them. For others, they could never see themselves with someone who isn't their own age no matter their experience level. What is it about those two numbers that make them so important?
I've been asked recently about my opinions on a Dominant's age and experience, particularly if experience is contingent on their age or if it's independent. And let me tell you, I am firmly in the experience and age are independent of each other.
Someone who is 40 years old and has 20 years experience will be far more familiar with Dominance than someone who is 40 and has just started exploring. But what about someone who is 23 for example and has been playing since they were 18? Do they get the same credit as someone who is older with the same 5 years experience?
Unfortunately, as I've witnessed they do not get the same respect or experience latitude and that's just wrong. Age is a number that's had a bad rap in the past, but this has to stop. People are finding kink earlier in their lives and are able to freely explore that once they reach 18. This is because groups everywhere are more publicly visible and can be found online. There's more information available. Let's not let the young lose out on the credentials that an experienced Dominant gets just because they are young.
Now I may be exposed to this more regularly because my Dominant is 27 but we've been together full time since he was 21. That 6 years of experience is a lot and it can make him a well-respected member of the community. Until they see that he's just 27. For some reason that makes his experience less? I just don't get it.
It applies to submissives as well, but to a lesser extent. It seems people are more willing to accept a younger submissive than a young Dominant. And don't get me started on if the Dominant is female vs male. It's just not right. Our community has the potential to look past so many other issues (body size, mental health, various kinks) but can't seem to get over someone's age? How can we continue to be this way?
We need to get over that pre-conception that age makes experience and maturity less valuable. It starts with you who are reading this article. Take the first step to look beyond someone's age and for a moment suspend the beliefs and stigma that particular age carries with it. See the person.
I'm not asking you to try and date someone young if you firmly believe that your Dominant needs to be older than you are or within a certain age range. But wherever you encounter other Dominants, be it online or in a community, give them a benefit of the doubt. That 22-year0-old you are talking to could be one of the most intelligent, sensitive and experienced Dominants you meet that night. Don't disregard them because "we all know young Doms are just there for kinky sex" or "they just want to play, they aren't serious about the Lifestyle."
Open up to them, they just might surprise you. I know I wouldn't be where I am now without my young Dominant.