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Finding Balance in Your D/s Dynamic (and Your Life!)

Balance is mostly about feeling fulfilled but not overwhelmed. It feels like the dynamic can live in harmony with the other aspects of daily life. How that is achieved will vary based on the wishes of those involved in the dynamic.

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Are Discipline and Punishment The Same?

Discipline and Punishment. The words are far from the same however some dynamics treat them the same. In fact, for the longest time, I have used the word punishment when I mean discipline. It’s even possible that Master has used these words interchangeably as well. I’ve done some thinking to try to sort out what these two words mean in our dynamic and how they are employed. I have a preference for clearly defined terms and boundaries so these two words are worth defining.

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Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way?

Kayla helps a troubled submissive in an abusive relationship.

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Are D/s Relationships Better than Vanilla Ones?

We feel superior to our vanilla counterparts at times. But, in truth, D/s relationships are no better or worse than vanilla ones.

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Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance?

Since I’m writing from the male submissive point of view, I suppose this question might also be asked as, “Is male submission more mental than physical?” I find the question, no matter how you parse it, to be interesting largely because it’s something I never really considered before. I suppose the implied idea is that the female dominants somehow exert their control vis-à-vis more cerebral or psychological means whereas the men tend toward more physical means.

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Are Relationships Not Worth Working On? How a Recent Challenge Brought Out The Disposable Relationship Mentality

The lack of effort in relationships is a startling reality in today's gotta-have-it-now society. Perhaps I'm old school or old fashioned but what I'm seeing in today's society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn't always easy to achieve and you may have to work hard to get it.

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Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For?

Here are some basic things you should probably look for in a Dominant.

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Are You Cheating on Your Dominant With Your Ex Dominant's Memory?

The problem is I keep thinking about my first Dom that introduced me into this life. We were together for two months. I feel like I am cheating or something when I think about him but I don't want him.

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Balancing D/s: Needing Permission to Go Out With Family

Some advice on balancing a d/s relationship and family.

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Banishment as a Form of Punishment: How Do You Cope?

A common tool for Dominants in their punishment arsenal is removal. You can be removed from the activity and sent to a time out area. For me, that's the kitchen. Ugh. I hate when I'm banished there.

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BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster?

Yes, you can be a parent and a kinkster at the same time. Let’s debunk some of the things people believe about why you can’t be both.

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