The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.
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At the furthest reaches of proactive service resides “anticipatory service.” There are many challenges faced by servants who aspire towards successful anticipatory service.
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It is so meaningful—so personal. It is intimate in a way we don’t ordinarily associate with intimacy. Platonic service can be boldly intimate, in a beautiful and profound way.
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Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.
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By taking on an active role in our submission, we not only have more opportunities to be submissive, but we build a dynamic that provides an open exchange of power. Even though as submissives, we permit them to have authority over us, that isn't enough. We're missing a key point here. D/s is an exchange.
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Anyone can learn to be a good service submissive, even if you don't feel you are a people pleaser, because the key traits are all ones that can be learned and refined. When you take steps to improve yourself now, you'll be able to tackle a variety of service challenges and refine the services you wish to provide for your Dominant.
Read The Article | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarDiscovering your submissive nature isn't always a sudden process. For many people it takes some soul searching to see that you may enjoy being a people-pleaser or that when someone asks you to do something you happily do it without a second thought. For others it takes some social reprogramming to allow your full nature to come out.
Read The Article | Find SimilarPart of the Resume is to record your training experience. For this, you have to take all experience that you have as training. If you have experience writing letters, for example, this would be a training item. It can be things you are educated to do or something you picked up as a hobby. Keep your mind open. Training is not always structured parts of your history. It is anything you can do that would provide a service to a Dominant.
Read The Article | Find SimilarA written contract is a tool, simple as that. The written contract is not just useful to new dynamics trying to create a roadmap of new Power Exchange dynamic; it can help prevent problems up ahead and provide a lovely reminder of how far you've traveled together.
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