Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is all about safewords. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.
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There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.
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You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.
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I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."
Read The Article | Find SimilarA safeword is a vocal brake in play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. It is a simple word or phrase that requires very little thought process to utter as a sign of distress or caution. Understand how to select your safeword and why it’s important in the following articles.
Read The Series | Find SimilarThere will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In these cases it is nice to have a backup signal to slow or stop the play. Many of these times you are tied up, gagged or otherwise unable to vocalize. When you can't talk you need a safe object.
Read The Article | Find SimilarReceiving punishment without having a safe word in place isn’t for everyone.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSo many submissives that have safewords feel that if they use it they have let their partner down and feel disappointed in themselves, but that's just not true.
Read The Article | Find SimilarJust like I won’t get in a car with someone who’s had too much to drink, I’m definitely not letting someone who’s intoxicated come at me with a flogger or tie me up, either.
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