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What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant's Limits Help You Learn?

I had a question sent to me the other day asking for suggestions and strategies that a novice submissive could use to make sure they don't break the rules while they are still learning which sparked this topic for me.

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Rules, Rituals and Protocol

Rituals and protocols can add richness, structure and even a little fun to a D/s relationship. Knowing the difference between the two can help the submissive better understand the desires and intentions of the dominant, and to be more pleasing when performing them.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

The only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.

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Discipline and Punishment

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.

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Novice Submissives Start Here

Newness doesn’t last long, so enjoy it. Love the exploration, the learning, the desires that seem to creep into every waking moment and fill every dream. Explore this collection of basics to your new submissive journey and pick up some much needed confidence that you are ready to take steps into the world of D/s.

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Aftercare

Aftercare is the attending to the emotional and physical needs once a scene is over. But what does that involve? Learn how to give and receive healing aftercare and what you should do in the event you are taking care of yourself after play.

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Journaling in Submission

One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to keep a journal. How do you start one? What goes in it? Dive into the 30 Days of Submissive Journaling series or one of the many other articles about this very useful tool in a submissive’s kit.

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Polyamory

Polyamorous relationships take many forms and can include many different levels of intimacy. The possibilities are limited only by the needs and desires of the parties involved. A poly lifestyle is really a challenge and for those that it works well for, it is worth it. Are you curious about poly relationships?

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