Mollena Williams, a well-known and respected speaker, educator, and Ms. Leather 2010, has inspired my submission more than she will probably ever know. One of my favorite messages she conveys is that the submissive (affiliate link) prime directive is to take care of the property. It can have many meanings, but for me, right now, it hits me hard as I stand on the scale and review my eating habits. It is a familiar dance I play at the beginning of every year. My goals reset to the same thing every year. Lose at least 40 lbs, eat right, move more, drink more water, and get my vitamins.
And every year, I fail.
My longest stretch at positive change is about two months. Then I just quit for one reason or another. But recently, Mollena's words are echoing in my head. Take care of the property. That means making sure I'm healthy enough to stick around on this planet for years to come. I'm dangerously obese if you couldn't guess from my video posts. I don't exercise, and I don't eat enough veggies. I used to binge, but that had thankfully stopped when I was diagnosed with Gluten Intolerance. It's pretty hard to binge on GF foods. They don't taste the same, and the cost is very prohibitive of mass purchasing.
I know that I've got the same goals this year as all the other years. Still, I think I'm going to take a different direction and use the prime directive for submissives to keep me going. After all, I'm always trying to find ways to be a better submissive, and writing for Submissive Guide is definitely an active effort.
I'm ready to make a change. I'm going to take care of the property.
I know there is so much more to taking care of the property than the health goals that I have set for myself. Often the things we don't see as harmful to our submission to our partner are staring us right in the face. So take a pledge to figure out where you are slipping in the prime directive and pick your submission back up. Let's list a few of the more common ways we aren't taking care of the property.
We Are Over Committed
Being over-committed is a common curse in this age. How many activities fill your day so that you have to try to squeeze in time to submit? How stressed out are you after a long workday? How do you think this impacts your submission? Are you able to surrender as you or your partner desire when your mind is full tilt, and your body is screaming for rest? Probably not.
Taking care of the property means making sure that you can prioritize your engagements and not take on more than you can handle at any given time. And if you say you have to do x, y, and z, you are merely refusing to accept that you can say no to people who ask you for your time.
Read More: Juggling Daily Life and Submission
We Are Stressed
Much of the stress that we experience every day is self-inflicted. It isn't a simple process to reduce the stress in our lives, but it will improve our mental health and, in turn, our ability to submit to our partners. Even taking just 10 minutes out of your day to relax and slow down can be a huge help. Learn to let go of the things you can't control and manage the things you can.
Relieving stress as a couple has healing properties too. The little fights, the added weight of a relationship can take its toll. Find time this week to set a date to make that right. Show them that the most important person at the end of the day is each other.
We Don't Get Enough Sleep
We get far less sleep than our bodies need these days. What, with all the commitments we have for ourselves, it's no wonder. But if we learn to reduce what we have to do in the evening, we can get a good night's sleep and have a healthier outlook.
Don't knock a cat nap either. Sometimes just squeezing 20 minutes whenever you can boost your productivity and mood. And hell, sometimes a nap feels right.
We Neglect Pampering
Do stuff for yourself from time to time. Get that manicure, buy that pretty blouse you saw. Make sure you do your makeup if you like to wear it and buy the latte on your way to work. Just don't go overboard on it and add financial stress to your life. Make it a pleasant reward, and it will do more good for your psyche than you realize.
We Fail to Re-negotiate
That's right. Sometimes we need to sit down with our partners and get on the same page. As the relationship develops and evolves, some of the previously discussed things need to be re-discussed. Some of these things are reminding each other of where you want to be and how you plan to get there.
I don't claim to know how to be the perfect submissive. I don't have the prime directive down pat just yet. Hopefully, with you supporting each other, we can make the changes that will mean more about taking care of the property than we realized.
Who's going to work on it with me? Let's make a plan right now. What is getting in the way of you taking care of the property? How can you make changes today?