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The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You

BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.

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What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Simply Service e-Zine

One of the hidden jewels on this site is an e-Zine that ran on Yahoo Groups back when I first started exploring submission. It has since stopped production but the articles it contained are still valuable and worth a read so I thought I ‘d bring them back to the forefront. They’ve been archived here with the editor’s permission since the site was first created but I don’t think many of you know just how wonderful they are. I encourage you to check them out!

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.

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A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Reviewing and Updating your Checklist

The checklist is a great tool to track the progression of your submission. Have you revisited your checklist lately?

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Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship

We are the sum of our experiences, after all, and if I hadn't learned these lessons I don’t think I’d be where I am today.

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Figure Out What to Expect From a Relationship Before Entering a Relationship

How do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect in a BDSM relationship?

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3 Ways You Can Learn About Your Limits When You Are New to BDSM

Learning what you might like or dislike is a challenge, but not one you can’t face with the right tools. In this article, I’m going to cover what types of limits there are and then three ways you can begin to figure out what your own limits are no matter how new you are to BDSM.

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