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The Sexual Submissive

If you believe yourself to be a sexual submissive then I urge you to become comfortable with who you are and not try to force yourself to fit into any other person's idea of what you must be.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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How Rituals Can Enhance Your BDSM Scenes

Whether you are kinky only in the bedroom or participating in D/s as a lifestyle, developing rituals for your BDSM play is an intimate and powerful way to connect. Using rituals will strengthen your roles, build dynamic scenes, and amplify your playtime to create the ideal atmosphere for BDSM activities.

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A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual

When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

A safeword is how you can protect yourself with a trusting partner.

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Halloween - A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out

When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker or mad scientist? Why Halloween parties most likely! Did you ever stop to think about whether that person was just dressing in costume or portraying a playful kink of theirs? Sure we hear on the news of yet another young couple walking onto a public bus collared and leashed but most of us don't let your kinks out in public.

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The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

Let me describe to you what a first scene might be like.

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We Do Not Out Each Other: Protecting People's Privacy

Protecting each other's privacy is so important. We don't out each other. We just don't.

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