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It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.
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It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.
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Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.
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Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.
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Overall it has been a positive change, even if it wasn't planned to happen right now. We are rolling with the change, making it work for us and honestly, are very happy with how things are developing for us. Staying-at-home is work, but work that I can feel good about because it is improving our personal life and enhancing our dynamic.
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Overall it has been a positive change, even if it wasn't planned to happen right now. We are rolling with the change, making it work for us and honestly, are very happy with how things are developing for us. Staying-at-home is work, but work that I can feel good about because it is improving our personal life and enhancing our dynamic.
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There's a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they cause, how to keep them from destroying the mood in kinky venues, whether or not D/s can help a person with mental disorders, whether or not they should be involved in kink or dominant/submissive relationships... The thoughts and opinions, as with just about every topic of discussion, are all over the place.
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There's a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they cause, how to keep them from destroying the mood in kinky venues, whether or not D/s can help a person with mental disorders, whether or not they should be involved in kink or dominant/submissive relationships... The thoughts and opinions, as with just about every topic of discussion, are all over the place.
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Every relationship experiences periods of boredom in the bedroom, kinky ones are not excluded from this. So what do you do about it?
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Every relationship experiences periods of boredom in the bedroom, kinky ones are not excluded from this. So what do you do about it?
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It is within your power to change your beliefs. As soon as a negative thought shows itself it is your job to find evidence to disprove it. It will really help if you write this evidence down.
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It is within your power to change your beliefs. As soon as a negative thought shows itself it is your job to find evidence to disprove it. It will really help if you write this evidence down.
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Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
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Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself?
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I won't pretend kink's a magic cure-all, and I sure as hell won't suggest it's a cure for OCD, but it does help mine when it comes to M.
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I won't pretend kink's a magic cure-all, and I sure as hell won't suggest it's a cure for OCD, but it does help mine when it comes to M.
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All three of you will have to communicate open and honestly about what you want and what you need. You’ll all need to have an understanding of what your relationship is and what it isn’t. You’ll have to negotiate the specifics of what works and what doesn’t so that you’re all comfortable.
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All three of you will have to communicate open and honestly about what you want and what you need. You’ll all need to have an understanding of what your relationship is and what it isn’t. You’ll have to negotiate the specifics of what works and what doesn’t so that you’re all comfortable.
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You aren't a doormat. As a submissive, you can have autonomy and an active submission you can be proud of. So, must you always wait for orders? You tell me.
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You aren't a doormat. As a submissive, you can have autonomy and an active submission you can be proud of. So, must you always wait for orders? You tell me.
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