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Content related to "Processing Pain and Being a Masochist"

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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The Many Layers of Sub Space

Whatever information you encounter there is only one truth. You can reach sub space and if you have any experience at all, then you probably have and just don't know what it was called. So let's start small.

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Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist

not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a munch or party and be faced with the question “What are you into?” The newbie who likes sensual play or enjoys service may feel that s/he is not quite living up to the expectations of the lifestyle.

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Exploring Endorphins from Pain Play for the First Time - A Point of View

I've always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. So it stands to reason that when I first started exploring the lifestyle, my fascination with all things painful was greatly tempered with uncertainty.

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The Curse of Masochism

I very very often HATE that I’m a masochist.

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Perspectives: Erotic Spanking

Erotic spanking. It is probably the most common kinky play activity and is done in a lot of relationships that may know nothing about kink at all to those who are extremely kinky. It’s just a hot thing to do during sex. I was being spanked long before I entered the scene. I hope that I never stop being spanked.

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How To Manage, Increase and Explore Pain Tolerances in SM Play

Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist to masochist) - however there are some basic principles and techniques that will get you well on your way.

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Perspectives: Canes

Canes are a scary tool in expert hands and dangerous tools in the inexperienced person's hand. But it doesn't have to be about pain, although it turned out that way for me.

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Life as a Submissive with Chronic Pain

Here are some things about living life in beautiful, fulfilling power exchange alongside a big helping of constant pain.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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