6 Qualities of Mindful Submission When Communicating With Our Partners

Communication is not the sexiest word a submissive can utter, but it’s one of the most necessary. Whether we like it or not, it is squarely our responsibility to communicate those needs to the dominants who care for us.

What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Establishing a Safe, Trusting Environment for Talk

Let's cover what a safe environment looks like from the people present at the physical location you choose to talk in. A good environment takes planning and mutual agreements to work the way it's supposed to. And you thought that you just had to say, "We need to talk," right?

Separating Fantasy from Reality - Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth

Fantasies are great lived and relived in our minds but there comes a time when our desire to experience what we've read is strong. Make sure you have all the facts and place yourself firmly in reality before you try to explore them. It will mean a safer more enjoyable time for you and your partner.

10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time

The nervous energy attached to meeting a Dominant for the first time doesn’t go away for everyone. If you know a few tips and ways to calm your nerves before the big date, you’ll feel relaxed and ready to put your best foot forward.

When Your Owner's Home Grows: The Impact of Having Additional Live-in Dominants and submissives

Anytime you have a Home with one Master and no matter how well ordered, three s-types one of them new to the Home there is going to be administrative issues if nothing else. We have faced everything from handling of the children to dealing with punishments and chore allocation. Never-mind interpersonal issues focusing around relationships and commitments as well as insecurity and a little passive aggressiveness.

Ideas for Discreet Punishment

He's hesitant to continue the discussion on rules he would like for me to follow due to the fact that punishment for these rules would be hard due to lack of privacy. Any suggestions about discreet punishments?