It's good to start forming an idea of who you are and what you are looking for before you start searching for a Dominant
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A common mistake that many submissives make is to assume that giving up control also means giving up the responsibility to themselves and to the situation. A submissive shares equal responsibility for any consequences - good or bad - that occur as a result of consensual play or activities.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEmbracing your single submissiveness is a strong and empowering trait. You can live a fulfilling singlehood if you remind yourself that there is much to do before you are ready to accept someone’s control of you.
Read The Series | Find SimilarDiscipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.
Read The Series | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarDan Savage asked if nerds and geeks are more likely to be into BDSM. It was meant to be a joke, but in all truth, there has to be something to this as I've seen it myself. Now maybe it's because I'm more sensitive to seeing nerds and geeks, or should I say advanced intellectuals, being more into BDSM than other forms of sexuality. I am, after all a nerd myself and my Master is a geek. We get along better with nerdy and geeky friends than we do others because of the common topics that keep coming up.
Read The Article | Find SimilarFor me, there will always be limits. I can see when a slave says they honestly don't have any limits they truly believe that they don't. And it very well could be the case. But turn around and talk to the Dominant and they will be able to list things that they would never do with their property - be it because they don't get off on it or because they value their property enough to not want to harm them. This for me is why no limits slavery does not exist.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIs pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission?
Read The Article | Find SimilarI told my Dom I needed more to do, as far rules, responsibilities etc.. what are some good things for me to do?
Read The Article | Find SimilarHow do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect in a BDSM relationship?
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