I got engaged to my Master, Grimly, in September 2009. The engagement itself was pretty kinky since this took place at a fetish party that occurred whilst we were staying with like minded friends in Canada.
Our engagement party ended up with me being dressed up as a schoolgirl, then as a maid, then in a straight jacket and finally put into a vac bed, so I suppose you could say that it was perhaps an insight into what he expects our honeymoon and indeed married life might be like - hectic, full of action, full of me being tied up and him being in control!
I have to be honest though, I think during the wedding planning I've taken over things a lot! Perhaps this is just really a natural bride-to-be reaction. Have other ladies experienced the same? I'd be interested to hear your stories.
Our wedding ceremony is going to be very traditional and I think that is why Grimly has sort of allowed me to run away with it. That and well, I know he just wants me to have the day of my dreams. We are having a church wedding, the vintage car, the white (well ivory) dress and the sit-down dinner. We are having a few kinky friends as guests but all ones that we know can put on their Sunday best in front of our respective families.
Three months to go for me and it is all starting to fall into place. The deposits all paid and it is just a matter of working out the finer details. I live about 250 miles away from the wedding venue and 200 miles (in the other direction) from my Master/fiancee so the planning has been quite difficult with trips being planned in advance to get the benefit of good travel deals and organizing things with military precision. Grimly for his part has mostly let me get on with it, though he did say I have this one day and then THAT'S IT. After becoming his wife the 'bridezilla' stops and the submissive returns.
I have to be honest in that submission has very much taken a back seat in our relationship since the wedding plans took over things. It seems every priority is on the wedding. I feel bad that sometimes lately I have forgotten I am marrying my Master and not just the man I love.
There have been things we have been doing however to keep the D/s active.
I think it is important to have a little time during the wedding planning process set aside (ideally every month) for BDSM and D/s. To date, Grimly and I have pretty much managed that, reserving the weekends I visit him at his place for kink and for us doing all those things that make us who we are.
It seems to work. It is almost like a desert island, getting away from the stress and the planning and just going back to that place of total escapism.
That would be my main tip - keep some time for the D/s. Some time where it is kept special and where wedding stuff doesn't intrude.
I also think subconsciously the D/s in our relationship is putting its own stamp on the wedding - knowing his taste and requirements has been a strong influence in my choice of dress for instance since it is a part corset.
I think when the wedding day is over and we retire to our hotel room it will be the start of a totally different life! Or at least perhaps the next day as I'm expecting whilst most couples shag each other senseless we'll just likely fall asleep cuddling and save all that energy for the honeymoon!
Have any of you managed to deal with submission during wedding planning any better?
Any tips you'd like to share for those going through similar experiences?