Like Luna, I'm also getting married to my Dom this year!
We have been together seven years in February but it feels so much longer, I think thats a good thing though!
When we met I wasn't planning on it being a romantic relationship, I wasn't planning on it being a D/s thing either, it was just really just me and my masochism needing a fix. But after realizing he was so good at hurting me I just automatically became interested in wanting the full thing. That right there is probably one of my biggest hurdles - I'm perhaps more a masochist than a submissive, but submission is in me too.
I was seduced into the idea of wanting to be owned by him quite early on into the relationship, i think before I realized I actually loved him as well. I wore his collar prior to embarking on a sexual relationship . I felt owned before we had sex and I think that was completely the right way round to do it for me. With my previous partner I had sex on the first date and it was just cheap and nasty, whereas, waiting for a man to take control of me and take ownership of me made the whole act when it finally happened so much more passionate and intense. I'd called my ex my Master prior to meeting him, but i don't think it means half the same building up a relationship online as it does actually in each other's presence. I mean no offence to people in solely online relationships but my own personal opinion is that power exchange needs some sort of real life inter-action to be at its most effective and exhilarating. Don't get me wrong when you're in a long distance relationship you sometimes have to manage as best as you can but there needs to be some actual real happening at some point or its just limbo, waiting, wondering what-if.
I did not really want to wait when I realized how much I wanted to belong to him. I proposed to him. Well proposed the idea of him collaring me. I went down on one knee at a fetish club and he said what I knew he would say 'i'll think about it'. That way he was still in control of if it happened and when it happened, not me. I just wanted him to know I wanted to be owned.
In a way collaring is a bit like a kinky wedding.
There are parallels. Witnesses, ceremony, making a commitment.
Our Collaring Ceremony was held at a summer party a friend was hosting. It was not elaborate. I wore a pretty sort of oriental outfit and Grimly got everyone's attention and announced it, said a few words, and then put the collar around my neck. I don't really remember what he said, just the sentiment behind the words and of course the look on his face. It was definitely a step of commitment and a deep and meaningful gesture.
I have been thinking about whether the actual wedding will incorporate anything covertly D/s. However, it is unlikely. I don't like the idea of my worlds colliding. It's bad enough that he might (sorry no - will) actually insist the vows include obey and then I'll have to try and keep a straight face!
I've asked both Grimly and my ex what of those three vows are the most important. My ex had said he felt obedience was the most important since he had always wanted a slave more than a partner. Grimly's answer is not the same.
I've obeyed people that I've not loved. Though generally, it doesn't seem as real without the love there, without that same amount of passion behind it. I suppose to really *feel* the submission I need to feel passionate about the person and about wanting to please them and make them happy, same as I want to make the man I love happy. Exact same thing.