Looking for your partner is challenging, no doubt about it. You've probably done the bar scene, the alternative adult dating sites, and maybe a few of the vanilla ones too. No matter where you look you find men or women that just aren't your type. I'm here to say that it is possible to find someone that's right for you. Now you may not need any lucky charms to find that perfect person, but you do need a few things to make sure your search for a Dominant doesn't go awry.

Finding your One isn't easy and your longing to finally use your submission with someone that understands and values it can be overpowering. I've been so desperate that I overlooked some very important safety aspects of meeting someone new. Hopefully, you won't make the same mistakes I did. This has to do with first dates and first meetings, so if you were looking for some tips on how to find someone, unfortunately, that's the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow (no that doesn't mean you will never reach it, just another play on words).


Get some personal information before agreeing to meet them. Get their full name, a phone number, the type of car they drive, whatever they will offer. Write this information down and put it in plain sight. This is for personal security if the trust you have established fails and they do you harm.

Safe Call

Safe calls are vital in situations where you are meeting someone that no one you know can vouch for. If this is a blind date, set one up. Let a friend know where you will be and set up times to call in or have them call you to check up and see how things are going. This provides two things; a security blanket if safety is compromised and a way out if you don't think you two have anything in common.

Other Do's and Don'ts

  • Don't play on the first date.
  • Don't invite them back to your place or go to theirs, keep it public.
  • Don't allow them to set up rules you have to follow. This isn't an agreed upon relationship... yet.
  • Do keep it casual and enjoy yourself.
  • Do find out more about them. It is a date first, D/s potential second.
  • Don't drink. No need to be impaired on a first date.

So rub the Blarney stone, kiss an Irish person on the way out the door and pluck that 4-leaf clover.  You may have found that diamond in the ruff.

Questions on anything covered here? Let me know.