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Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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Dirty Talk

When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?

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The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo

Some of the taboos that are discussed, other than the ones I named above are scat/golden showers(human toilet), rape play, age play, and the rest, you can find that out for yourself when you read the book.

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The Differences Between Bottom, Masochist, Submissive and Slave

There are several other names that can be 'classed' for the submissive role in a relationship. The ones I'm covering here are the basics. I am well aware of toys, pets, sluts, servants and many many other names. Please do not feel that I am not leaving you out, but for the sake of clarity and simplicity, I am covering only Bottom, Masochist, Submissive and Slave.

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Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive?

If you are a submissive, or learning about submission and don't like pain or don't think you like pain then that doesn't mean you aren't submissive.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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Use Your Safeword Without Guilt - You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It

You never know what may go on, how you will react or where your limits are that day. Using that safeword will protect yourself. But for many of us, wielding that power is scary and one that you don't consider unless it is absolutely necessary. When we do break and need to safeword out of a scene we can be fraught with guilt and feelings of failure.

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Male Submission – Foot Fetish

A foot fetish is not necessarily related to submission, although for many guys the two combine well and there are a whole lot of varieties of activities and preferences for guys with a foot fetish.

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The Punishment Place: Dealing with Punishment as a Slave

Accepting that my behavior is a direct reflection on Him, that my thoughts and actions need first to be scrutinized, on my own, for what I know He expects of me. I will fail again, I'm sure. And I will be back in that place.

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