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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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This Collar, That Collar, Your Collar, My Collar

A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually gaurded and protected with their heart. With all the essays online about collars I thought I’d jump in with my own take on what everyone says and believes about collars.

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Thoughts on Public Vanilla Acceptable Collars

Does one know how to obtain collars that do not look like collars..so one can be worn at all time with out so called vanilla’s asking about it…?

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Tips for Developing Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are still relationships that require a different approach to develop the same connection and intimacy.

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To Be or Not To Be - Poly, Mono, Mono-Poly Flexible

Blyss helps you decide if either monogamy or polyamory is a better fit. She covers jealousy, compersion, personal insecurities and understandings of poly.

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To Have Children Or Not, Now THAT is a Question

This post is more about the D/s decisions surrounding children that have come to my attention through requests for advice and by reading discussions on forums. Below are my personal opinions about these topics and anything I say here should be weighed against your own morals and beliefs. Make your own decisions about your life.

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better

We called the marriage counselor as a last-ditch effort to resuscitate “us” and it was the first move towards the life I had never imagined but somehow of which I had still always dreamt.

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Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy

This is written as a bode of encouragement to those who are struggling in moving from a monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous one.

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Transitioning from Part Time to Full Time D/s: How to Work Through the Challenges

What I learned from my own efforts in transitioning and hopefully they will help you too if you choose to move your submission from the bedroom to more or from more to total surrender in a Master/slave relationship.

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Trust is a Five Letter Word

A D/s relationship with a basis of trust has a lot of responsibility in both parties to uphold that trust and to not belie it. Honesty is a form of trust and the most common violation of that trust that I have encountered in my time as a submissive and talking with others.

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