Full Question: When do you start discussing safe words? Answer: The short answer is you start discussing safe words when you begin negotiating playing with someone. I’d even consider having one for sex. It’s just a good idea all around to have a way to tell your partner you need to stop when saying “stop” […]
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Full Question: What does the bottom/sub need to learn about bondage? Answer: I will expand on this question and give you a few tips on what a bottom needs to know about any form of BDSM play, including bondage. It’s often hinted that the submissive doesn’t need to learn how to throw a flogger or
What does a bottom need to know about BDSM play? Read More »
Full Question: Recommendations for journal prompts? I LOVE the advent calendar! Answer: I’m thrilled that you enjoy the Submissive Advent Calendar! For those that don’t know what we’re talking about, I created an Advent calendar with submissive-focused tasks to do during the holiday season, and you can pick up your copy on Amazon or our
Recommendations for Journal Prompts? Read More »
Full Question: What is the best way to train oneself to deepthroat? How to get rid of the gag reflex? Answer: Great question! The main reason for the gag reflex is to prevent you from choking, so it’s not advisable to stop it completely. That said, there are various ways to desensitize your gag reflex
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Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
Full Question: I’m trying to find my first munch meeting in NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Getting out and meeting kinky people face-to-face can be so intimidating. I understand the desire to make sure that you are walking into the safest environment possible. First,
How do you know if a munch is safe? Read More »
Full Question: If you’re relatively new to all of this and are building a dynamic with a new dom, what is your thought on randomly and only occasionally calling the safe word for the purpose of building the trust that they will, in fact, stop? Answer: It’s not uncommon for submissives to want to test
Using Your Safeword to Test Their Trust? Read More »
Full Question: Do most Doms like to see their handiwork afterward? I have a new Dom and would like to text pics and thank him for my bruises. I don’t quite have a read on him, so I was looking for opinions. Answer: The short answer is “maybe.” First, I want to clarify to those
Do Doms Like to See The Resulting Bruises from Playtime? Read More »
Full Question: Trying to find my first munch meeting in the NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Finding a munch is a recommended first step for anyone interested in meeting people face-to-face and getting to know the larger community. Due to the Pandemic, finding munches
How do I find a safe munch near me? Read More »
Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and fulfilling way to expand your sexual horizons, and outdoor BDSM play can provide a unique and exhilarating experience for those interested in pushing their boundaries beyond the confines of a traditional indoor setting. However, engaging in BDSM activities in the great outdoors also comes with its own set
The Wild Side of BDSM: How to Safely Incorporate Outdoor Play into Your Kink Read More »
If the idea of putting something in your butt or enjoying anal sex makes you hesitate, you aren’t alone. Even though anal sex has made huge steps toward acceptance, it remains an underrated, almost taboo activity. Exploring anal training is often filled with discomfort, both mental and physical, but despite what porn or movies would
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Full Question: Hello, I’m just confused that my girlfriend is not so into BDSM things. How can I help her get interested? Answer: This is a common situation that does not have an easy answer. It is important because it is not sufficient for many of us to bury our desires and needs for BDSM.
How can I help my girlfriend get interested in BDSM? Read More »
Full Question: I have body image issues, and I am frequently asked (well told) to touch myself and make myself cum. The problem is that I don’t enjoy touching myself (probably because I am disgusted by my body). Masturbation has never been something I enjoyed doing. If/when I actually do it, I use a vibe.
Full Question: What personality traits can I look for in a person to know if they are or could be Dominant? Answer: When you are looking for a Dominant to be in a power exchange relationship, you may wonder if there is a radar of some sort that will help you recognize them “out in
How Can I Tell If Someone Is Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: How do you safely enter this lifestyle without being scammed? Answer: You’ve got two pretty big questions here, and I’ll do my best to answer them. First, it makes sense to be safe when looking for a partner. We’ve gone to the mentality that instant compatibility is easy. Finding a compatible partner requires
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Full Question: I am a new sub to the BDSM scene. Since my partner and Dom recently learned that I like being submissive, he has encouraged me to look into the BDSM community. The one thing that concerns me is everything in D/s relationships seems to lead back to SM, and I am not a
Is SM always a part of a D/s relationship? Read More »
Question: I am still fairly new to this (six months). I love having Submissive Guide, but wish I could connect with other submissives in my area. Does anyone know how to find groups/gatherings? Answer: It’s going to require a bit of digging to find local groups and you should decide now how far you’re willing
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Question: Why is everything about BDSM/kink sexual? I read a post on FetLife once stating that a play scene could absolutely be non-sexual, but of course, they didn’t give any examples. I have never seen a non-sexual scene. If non-sexual play is possible, then why is almost everyone naked (or close to it) at play
Are BDSM and kink always sexual? Read More »
Question: What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Answer: Great question! I think once you know what it is, you will be able to explain what it is to your partner, so let’s break it down. Sub drop is a physical and sometimes emotional crash after an intense play or
What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Read More »
Full Question: How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Answer: I’m going to assume that you want to know about sexual pleasure and intimacy during your period, even though you don’t say so specifically in your question. All period-having people have asked this question at one time or another, so
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