From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.
Full Question: Trying to find my first munch meeting in the NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Finding a munch is a recommended first step for anyone interested in meeting people face-to-face and getting to know the larger community. Due to the Pandemic, finding munches […]
How do I find a safe munch near me? Read More »
Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and fulfilling way to expand your sexual horizons, and outdoor BDSM play can provide a unique and exhilarating experience for those interested in pushing their boundaries beyond the confines of a traditional indoor setting. However, engaging in BDSM activities in the great outdoors also comes with its own set
The Wild Side of BDSM: How to Safely Incorporate Outdoor Play into Your Kink Read More »
If the idea of putting something in your butt or enjoying anal sex makes you hesitate, you aren’t alone. Even though anal sex has made huge steps toward acceptance, it remains an underrated, almost taboo activity. Exploring anal training is often filled with discomfort, both mental and physical, but despite what porn or movies would
Anal Training 101: From Hesitation to Penetration Read More »
Full Question: Hello, I’m just confused that my girlfriend is not so into BDSM things. How can I help her get interested? Answer: This is a common situation that does not have an easy answer. It is important because it is not sufficient for many of us to bury our desires and needs for BDSM.
How can I help my girlfriend get interested in BDSM? Read More »
Full Question: I have body image issues, and I am frequently asked (well told) to touch myself and make myself cum. The problem is that I don’t enjoy touching myself (probably because I am disgusted by my body). Masturbation has never been something I enjoyed doing. If/when I actually do it, I use a vibe.
Full Question: What personality traits can I look for in a person to know if they are or could be Dominant? Answer: When you are looking for a Dominant to be in a power exchange relationship, you may wonder if there is a radar of some sort that will help you recognize them “out in
How Can I Tell If Someone Is Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: How do you safely enter this lifestyle without being scammed? Answer: You’ve got two pretty big questions here, and I’ll do my best to answer them. First, it makes sense to be safe when looking for a partner. We’ve gone to the mentality that instant compatibility is easy. Finding a compatible partner requires
How Do You Safely Enter the Lifestyle? Read More »
Full Question: I am a new sub to the BDSM scene. Since my partner and Dom recently learned that I like being submissive, he has encouraged me to look into the BDSM community. The one thing that concerns me is everything in D/s relationships seems to lead back to SM, and I am not a
Is SM always a part of a D/s relationship? Read More »
Question: I am still fairly new to this (six months). I love having Submissive Guide, but wish I could connect with other submissives in my area. Does anyone know how to find groups/gatherings? Answer: It’s going to require a bit of digging to find local groups and you should decide now how far you’re willing
How to Find a BDSM Munch Group in Your Area Read More »
Question: Why is everything about BDSM/kink sexual? I read a post on FetLife once stating that a play scene could absolutely be non-sexual, but of course, they didn’t give any examples. I have never seen a non-sexual scene. If non-sexual play is possible, then why is almost everyone naked (or close to it) at play
Are BDSM and kink always sexual? Read More »
Question: What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Answer: Great question! I think once you know what it is, you will be able to explain what it is to your partner, so let’s break it down. Sub drop is a physical and sometimes emotional crash after an intense play or
What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Read More »
Full Question: How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Answer: I’m going to assume that you want to know about sexual pleasure and intimacy during your period, even though you don’t say so specifically in your question. All period-having people have asked this question at one time or another, so
How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Read More »
Question: How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? I know he loves me wearing them, but I already have close to 20 different ones. I’m not sure what to say as I feel that accepting them is part of the deal. He also buys me practical items for the home,
How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? Read More »
Question: Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Answer: One of the best ways to get a list of kinks is to look for a BDSM checklist. Some of them are dozens of pages long and will list practically every common and some very uncommon kinks
Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Read More »
Question: Am I too late to join the BDSM community and find a Dom as I am in my sixties and overweight? Answer: It’s never too late to embrace your sexuality or explore what interests you. People discover BDSM later in life a lot more than we admit. You can’t age out of BDSM. I’ve
When it comes to books, as well as bondage, I’m more of a leather-bound girl, myself. So, when my Master decided to start practicing rope bondage, I used this background as my comparison. After a few months of “bonding” over rope bondage, though, I’m pretty convinced it’s a whole different animal. Perhaps there is something
The Time Between Knots: Changing Our Perspectives on Rope Bondage Read More »
If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, even just scrolling through Submissive Guide, you know that negotiation is one of the cornerstones. Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse – they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it
The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Please keep in mind that this article is now over 15 years old and some of the language may show their age. I feel it still opens a line of communication of a
Disabled? Ideas on How You Can Still Enjoy BDSM When Impaired Read More »
This is a guest post by Daniel A. of https://www.hypnoticdreams.com. Trance is a natural and essential part of sex. It always has been. The hypnosis fetish, however, is relatively new. And because of its newness, traditional submissives sometimes dismiss hypnosis as unnecessary or a cheat. But hypnofetishists have learned a lot about sex and relationships in the
What Traditional Submissives can Learn from Hypnosis Fetishists Read More »
When I first learned about BDSM, and then that I enjoyed pain play as a masochist, there was a moment when a Top that I had asked to play with asked me a very specific question, at least I thought it was specific at the time. “Stingy or thuddy?” Did I prefer, sting or thud
Be More Specific About Pain – When a Tool is More Than Sting or Thud Read More »
