Full Question: Do you believe a submissive also has to be a slave? Answer: At Submissive Guide, we focus on submission. We use specific definitions to describe the words “submissive,” and “slave.” They are: submissive – A person who agrees to submit or give up control in a relationship, scene, or activity. slave – A […]
Does a submissive also have to be a slave? Read More »
Full Question: Do you think that pre-play negotiation is important when you’ve been together for months? Answer: Yes and no. We’ve discussed pre-scene negotiation here before, but a brief refresher is always nice. Pre-scene negotiation is the conversation between play partners to discuss what you agree to do during play, what safety and safewords you
Is pre-play negotiation important in long-term relationships? Read More »
Full Question: I want to be involved in the kink community near me, but I fear for my teaching profession. Any advice? Answer: That’s a very valid concern, and being cautious is the name of the game. If you attend local events within your school district or even the city, there is always a possibility
Want to be involved in the kink community, but it could jeopardize my career, help? Read More »
Full Question: Do subs always have to be bottoms? Answer: No. It’s a topic based on definitions and identity. A bottom is a receiver in BDSM play. A submissive is the follower half of a D/s relationship. Even the definitions are not synonyms. And they shouldn’t be! It is very common that people who are
Do subs always have to be bottoms? Read More »
Full Question: Can you talk about chemical play, please? Answer: Chemical play is a form of sensation play involving irritants to create sensations during or after play. These substances usually come in the form of liquids, gels, oils, or creams. When they put them on sensitive parts like private areas, nipples, or the butt, it
What is Chemical Play? Read More »
Full Question: When do you start discussing safe words? Answer: The short answer is you start discussing safe words when you begin negotiating playing with someone. I’d even consider having one for sex. It’s just a good idea all around to have a way to tell your partner you need to stop when saying “stop”
When do you start discussing safe words? Read More »
Full Question: What does the bottom/sub need to learn about bondage? Answer: I will expand on this question and give you a few tips on what a bottom needs to know about any form of BDSM play, including bondage. It’s often hinted that the submissive doesn’t need to learn how to throw a flogger or
What does a bottom need to know about BDSM play? Read More »
Full Question: Recommendations for journal prompts? I LOVE the advent calendar! Answer: I’m thrilled that you enjoy the Submissive Advent Calendar! For those that don’t know what we’re talking about, I created an Advent calendar with submissive-focused tasks to do during the holiday season, and you can pick up your copy on Amazon or our
Recommendations for Journal Prompts? Read More »
Full Question: What is the best way to train oneself to deepthroat? How to get rid of the gag reflex? Answer: Great question! The main reason for the gag reflex is to prevent you from choking, so it’s not advisable to stop it completely. That said, there are various ways to desensitize your gag reflex
How can I train myself to deepthroat? Read More »
Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
Full Question: I’m trying to find my first munch meeting in NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Getting out and meeting kinky people face-to-face can be so intimidating. I understand the desire to make sure that you are walking into the safest environment possible. First,
How do you know if a munch is safe? Read More »
Full Question: If you’re relatively new to all of this and are building a dynamic with a new dom, what is your thought on randomly and only occasionally calling the safe word for the purpose of building the trust that they will, in fact, stop? Answer: It’s not uncommon for submissives to want to test
Using Your Safeword to Test Their Trust? Read More »
Full Question: Do most Doms like to see their handiwork afterward? I have a new Dom and would like to text pics and thank him for my bruises. I don’t quite have a read on him, so I was looking for opinions. Answer: The short answer is “maybe.” First, I want to clarify to those
Do Doms Like to See The Resulting Bruises from Playtime? Read More »
Full Question: Trying to find my first munch meeting in the NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Finding a munch is a recommended first step for anyone interested in meeting people face-to-face and getting to know the larger community. Due to the Pandemic, finding munches
How do I find a safe munch near me? Read More »
Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and fulfilling way to expand your sexual horizons, and outdoor BDSM play can provide a unique and exhilarating experience for those interested in pushing their boundaries beyond the confines of a traditional indoor setting. However, engaging in BDSM activities in the great outdoors also comes with its own set
The Wild Side of BDSM: How to Safely Incorporate Outdoor Play into Your Kink Read More »
If the idea of putting something in your butt or enjoying anal sex makes you hesitate, you aren’t alone. Even though anal sex has made huge steps toward acceptance, it remains an underrated, almost taboo activity. Exploring anal training is often filled with discomfort, both mental and physical, but despite what porn or movies would
Anal Training 101: From Hesitation to Penetration Read More »
Full Question: Hello, I’m just confused that my girlfriend is not so into BDSM things. How can I help her get interested? Answer: This is a common situation that does not have an easy answer. It is important because it is not sufficient for many of us to bury our desires and needs for BDSM.
How can I help my girlfriend get interested in BDSM? Read More »
Full Question: I have body image issues, and I am frequently asked (well told) to touch myself and make myself cum. The problem is that I don’t enjoy touching myself (probably because I am disgusted by my body). Masturbation has never been something I enjoyed doing. If/when I actually do it, I use a vibe.
Full Question: What personality traits can I look for in a person to know if they are or could be Dominant? Answer: When you are looking for a Dominant to be in a power exchange relationship, you may wonder if there is a radar of some sort that will help you recognize them “out in
How Can I Tell If Someone Is Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: How do you safely enter this lifestyle without being scammed? Answer: You’ve got two pretty big questions here, and I’ll do my best to answer them. First, it makes sense to be safe when looking for a partner. We’ve gone to the mentality that instant compatibility is easy. Finding a compatible partner requires
How Do You Safely Enter the Lifestyle? Read More »
