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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Processing Pain in Play

This is a great book if you’re wanting to learn how to process pain better during play and is worth its weight in gold.

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On Being Worthless: Consensual Humiliation and Slut Training

Hearing a term like "worthless" can often be an emotional experience. However, in the context in which I use the term, "worthless," to describe myself in my place as Master's slave, it has a very different feel. In this context, "worthless" does not mean that I am unvalued, or that I do not matter to Master.

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A Day in the Life: bonimiss

This is a post by bonimiss for the Day in the Life Series.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals

In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 3: Asking a Question

You should never be afraid to ask a question of your Dominant, however, in certain circumstances, there are inappropriate ways to ask questions and inappropriate questions.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 5: Answering in the Positive

Saying yes is one of the most frequent phrases I say on a regular basis. There are several ways you can express a "yes" response to your Dominant or others.

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How To Tell A Dominant That You Are Not Interested In Them

Okay so some of you are thinking, why would you bother with courtesies when the messages you received didn't have any? I'm going to tell you that you need to be the better person. You need to treat them as you wish to be treated even if they don't reciprocate. Let me be clear. I'm hoping you'll learn to be a positive influence in your own life and have as few regrets as possible. Treating someone poorly when a little sugar does the same thing is not a very decent thing to do and not something a prospective or current partner would want.

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Manners, Etiquette and Appropriateness When Interacting with People in the BDSM Scene

I am strongly attracted to my Dom despite his lack of fitness, however whenever he holds me down I can easily push him off if I want to, etc.

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Coping with Different Sex-Drives in a Relationship

The pressure to be compatible in all aspects of your relationship—including the bedroom—is one that is acutely felt, regardless of whether you’re up for sex multiple times a day, a few times a week, or only once in a blue moon.

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