I had stumbled across “Becoming a Slave” by Jack Rinella while I was seeing what Amazon had in the way of non-fiction lifestyle books. With all the options that were presented to me, it was hard to pick just one. I settled on “Becoming a Slave” because I had heard the author’s name mentioned a few times among my lifestyle friends and had heard that he is an extremely well-respected figure in the BDSM community. I figured there was no way I could go wrong with my decision, and I was not the least bit disappointed with this book.

This isn’t an easy book to read, there is a lot to take in and ponder on. This book is mainly geared towards submissives and slaves who are looking for their partner, but to say that the information in the book is limited only to that group is a lie. Even though I have been in the lifestyle for over ten years, I have a lot of highlighted passages in my Kindle version. One of the things I really loved about this book is the variety of topics Rinella covers. Some of the MANY topics that he covers is how to find a partner, how to negotiate the relationship, punishment, polyamory in M/s relationships, and several more. Each chapter raises several thought-provoking ideas. There is also usually an assignment at the end of each chapter to help you apply what you read in the chapter to the relationship you’re looking for and thoughts from Patrick, Jack’s slave of nine years. At the end of the book, there is a list of great resources, books, links, and events to expand your knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle.

One of the points that Rinella stresses early in the book was something that stuck with me throughout reading the book and that is the term wannabe. When talking to most veterans in the lifestyle, the term wannabe is never in a positive way. Most when they hear the term wannabe, they think about the people who pose a submissives or slaves who are looking for a free ride and not being a slave or submissive. Rinella states that “...we can simply say that a person with no connection to a master but who is considering slavery a life’s option, is a wannabe slave. We are all wannabes, since wanting to be is the beginning of the process.” After reading that, it made me think about all the people I met during my course in the lifestyle who I considered to be “wannabe slaves”, and in the not so nice way and how we all have to start somewhere and that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to think of the term wannabe in a different light.

Just a forewarning for anyone who is currently in an online M/s relationship: Rinella is not a big fan of online relationships and makes this clear several times throughout the book. Despite this, the book is still worth the read. Don’t let his opinion of online relationships keep you from reading this book.

"Becoming a Slave" is a book that I would highly suggest anyone who is already in a relationship or is thinking about getting involved in the lifestyle. It is full of wonderful information, thought-provoking ideas, and great resources.

Product Details:

Tequila R’s rating:

10/10 Paperback: 254 pages Publisher: Rinella Editorial Services (October 1, 2005) Language: English ISBN-10: 0940267209

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