There is a unique and beautiful relationship sometimes between submissives. It is a sisterhood/brotherhood of sorts that is built upon mutual experience, trust, and the need for understanding from someone who has been there before or is there now. In my time in the lifestyle, I have seen this as a wonderful thing and a helpful thing as well. I dare say that it is almost as important as the relationship one has with their Dominant. Why do I say that? I say that because there is a need to talk with one's peers.

Peer to Peer relationships needs to be cultivated with care. They can be rewarding but they are also something that requires trust. They require trust because you are sharing of yourself and of your relationships. Huh? Why would you share about your relationship? Sometimes you need a bit of advice on how to handle a particular situation. How can you do so without sharing a bit about the relationship so the other party can understand it? There is the pitfall of possibly oversharing but over time one learns what to share and what not to share.

One simply has to learn where to draw the line when it comes to sharing. That is something one learns by trial and error. Keep in mind that sometimes a fellow submissive doesn’t want to hear every detail as it might be considered bragging. Bragging isn’t a good thing. It might make the other party feel like they are missing out on something or that their relationship doesn’t add up to yours. One too many times I have seen hurt feelings because of this.

How to know how much to share:

  • Gauge the reaction to the conversation by the other person’s questions. It is often questions asked that will give you a clue as to how much or how little the other wants to know.
  • Stick to details that you know your Dominant wouldn’t mind that you share. Not all Dominants want others knowing their particulars.
  • Stick to the facts that will convey the situation you have questions or concerns about. Keep in mind that you should first have a conversation with your Dominant about it before bringing it to another person. Why? If you don’t trust your Dominant enough to have a frank and honest discussion why are you in the relationship to begin with?
  • Be prepared to face a different opinion before you even begin. Everyone will have an opinion but it might not be exactly what you want to hear. It is important to keep calm and focused. Don’t let your feelings get the better of you even if it is an emotionally charged topic. I know it is easier said than done sometimes, but keep in mind that you are always representing your Dominant.

Why would it be important to foster a supportive relationship with a fellow submissive? Sometimes there are things, thoughts, and views that a Dominant may or may not be able to help you to understand. The old expression of “walk a mile in my shoes” comes into play here. A Dominant has not always walked a mile in our shoes. Sure they can sympathize but unless they themselves have been submissive at one point in time they don’t really know what we go through on a daily basis inside.

Sometimes there are situations where one feels they can’t go to their Dominant for advice for whatever reason. Sadly this is something I have seen happen quite a bit in some online communities. New submissives don’t always know where or who to turn to or may feel that they are being ignored by their Dominant on the issue they are struggling with. I personally understand this and would help that submissive to see that it is still a good idea to talk to their Dominant. It’s not always an easy thing to do. I understand that as well.

Sometimes when a submissive is hurting comfort from a fellow submissive is needed. To know that you are not alone is a wonderful feeling. It is not only comforting but at times it is relaxing. What do I mean by that? When you’re stressed out about a situation isn’t it helpful to know that someone somewhere understands that very stress? It is my hope that one finds relationships with a fellow submissive rewarding.