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The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

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What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning

I'd like to walk you through the ways that I use to find information and continue my learning with FetLife.

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Keys to a Successful Relationship-It's All About Communication

I know that communication in the lifestyle is one of those topics that are constantly talked about, but I believe that’s because a lot of people don’t truly understand the importance of communication and how easily a relationship can turn sour if there is a breakdown in communication.

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Pain Play Discussed Online - Explore The Variety of Views

Some of the best online reading on the topic. Browse the list, watch the videos and learn more about pain play.

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More Red Flags for Everyone - Personal Safety and Warnings

Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community, it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives.

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Under the Microscope: Analyzing What You Read About BDSM for the Truth

You can understand more of what you read and apply only what will work for your situation while discarding the rest - without being overly critical.

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How Do I Stay Positive While Being a Single Submissive?

Being single is hard. If you want to find a Dominant you have to go where they mingle.

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Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better

We called the marriage counselor as a last-ditch effort to resuscitate “us” and it was the first move towards the life I had never imagined but somehow of which I had still always dreamt.

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