The Challenge of Learning Anticipatory Service: Making Mistakes

At the furthest reaches of proactive service resides “anticipatory service.” There are many challenges faced by servants who aspire towards successful anticipatory service.

10 Tips to Make Moving In With Your Dominant (or vise-versa) Smooth and Easy

Many of the things we do when it comes to BDSM and D/s relationships seem to come faster than in a traditional relationship, so often we forget that the base of a D/s relationship is a traditional one. You are still two people that plan to cohabitate. With that comes decisions and plans, change and adjustment periods.

In the first list of tips, I want to give I'm going to cover the more basic 'vanilla' ideas that will make your submissive more comfortable as they move into your home. The second list is BDSM based tips that will hopefully start your relationship on a good footing now that you are living under the same roof.

The Concept of Ritual in D/s Relationships

What makes ritual different from habit? What is a ritual at its core? And how can we conceptualize it? Such questions can fuel hours of discussion, reflection, and of course, cogitation.

The Key Traits of a Service Submissive - They Can Be Learned!

Anyone can learn to be a good service submissive, even if you don't feel you are a people pleaser, because the key traits are all ones that can be learned and refined. When you take steps to improve yourself now, you'll be able to tackle a variety of service challenges and refine the services you wish to provide for your Dominant.

The Popularity of BDSM

If your only view of BDSM is the online community then you could believe that BDSM and being kinky is a huge playground and that a lot of people participate in it openly. And you’d be wrong. While a a good portion of the US population admits they are kinky (10% according to NCSF) most of those are not going to participate in a BDSM community or step further than silk blindfolds and light bondage.

Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist

not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a munch or party and be faced with the question “What are you into?” The newbie who likes sensual play or enjoys service may feel that s/he is not quite living up to the expectations of the lifestyle.

What I've Learned From My Young Dominant

I’ve had other Doms comment that He can’t really teach me, that He can’t really control me, blah blah. He isn’t old enough, there is no way He could have the experience needed to handle a strong sub like me. However, to me, it’s less about experience than the intuition He has.

Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Sure it may turn you on, but you still get to decide how far you go to care for that. After all, BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body's responses to stimulus. It is not always sex.

Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

I am glad to help reduce the stigma surrounding kink. If you are considering coming out kinky, give this article a read.

Publicly Domesticated, Privately Dominated - Subtle D/s in Public

It can be difficult to achieve a public dynamic that fits the needs of all parties while remaining within the confines of public social expectations.