Some of the first advice that I give to someone wanting to get off the computer and into the local community is to attend a munch. But at the same time, I know that attending a munch is a scary proposition. You will be meeting people you don't know that are into kinky things, and even things that you are adventuring into. You might be asked questions about your interests that you don't have answers yet.

You might be recognized.

That's right, there just might be someone there that you know from your life at these things. And that puts lead in so many boots. They freeze at the door, they don't even get out of their car or they stay behind the computer screen where anonymity reigns. It doesn't have to be that way if you know how you want to handle that before you step out the door.

1. Go to munches in a different town.

A lot of people that are higher profile in their hometown choose to go out of town for their BDSM munch needs and this works great. You are far less likely to meet someone you know and it can provide you a sense of comfort with that. It's not always possible if you already have a difficult time finding groups within driving distance but give it a good look before you give up.

2. Have a scene name.

It's actually quite common to have a different name than your real name for BDSM events. Luna wasn't my real name until I married KnyghtMare (and no that's not his real name either). This way no one can recognize you by your name, you can custom fit a name to the person you want to be in the scene or your personality and your new name affords you some anonymity also.

3. Give a general location for where you are from.

You don't have to say what neighborhood you hail from at all. Just give the town or even the next largest town over. No one is going to question it. People at a munch are okay with privacy issues especially pertaining to name and location. I doubt they will even bat an eyelash if you say you'd prefer not to share where you are from.

4. Have a response prepared for if you do encounter someone who recognizes you.

It is possible that even though you followed all the steps above you still see someone that recognizes you. After all, they probably followed these steps too. What you will have to realize is that they probably don't want to be recognized either or they wouldn't be there anonymously. So, if they do not approach you, try to just nod in recognition and move on. If they do want to talk to you - it might be just to say, "Hey I'm so thrilled to know that a "friend/colleague/neighbor/acquaintance" is kinky too!"

Think about this. If they out you, they out themselves too. I highly doubt that they will spread the news to everyone you both know that they saw you at a kink club because they would have to explain why they were there too. If you are afraid they might do that anyway, you can ask them to keep your attendance a secret. BDSM groups are very specific about protecting privacy.

I hope that you now have a little less fear about attending munches and please let me know if you have any other tips you'd add to this.