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Guide to Your First Munch

There is one huge hurdle that can strike fear into you like nothing else can. You’ve been safe behind your computer, but the next step is clear. You need to meet people face to face. You will eventually need to go to a munch.

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What's In a Name? Selecting a Scene Name You Can Live With

Choosing a scene name is one thing if it is only ever going to be used online, but it takes a bit more thinking about if you are going to refer to yourself as it in real life as well or use it as an introduction point at a munch or something like 'I'm ********* on FetLife'

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What's That Sound? Discreet BDSM Play and Hiding Toys from Children

Taking precautions when it comes to the noises that can come from play when you have kids in the home.

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What's With All These BDSM Checklists?

A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don't know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don't have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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What to Do When Punishment Starts to Feel Good

I should be accepting punishment for misbehavior and yet I'm getting turned on by the spanking or the evil stick that used to spell doom for my punishment and it starts to feel good. Now, what do I do?

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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What to Expect When Attending a Munch

Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle in real life, rather than online. You can meet people, make contacts, ask questions, and just enjoy your time out without worrying about keeping your secret desires secret any longer. This is most often the place where cross dressers can ‘come out’, so to speak, and appear in make up and outfits that reflect their lifestyle, without negative comments.

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What Would YOU Change To Make Submissive Guide Better?

The survey is totally anonymous, and you can fill it out right here on the blog.

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Article

When Fantasy Collides with Reality: Weighing Expectations when Exploring Kink Fantasies

Unrealistic expectations and desires are some of the most difficult challenges faced by those who are experienced in the lifestyle when dealing with those just entering the lifestyle. In many ways we each buy into a particular ‘aspect’ of the fantasy. Yet over and over people try to implement the impossible.

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When He Slapped Me: My Impressions of Face Slapping

There are light play activities and those that are intense, even on the edge or taboo. Face slapping is considered the latter. Two years ago, I approached KM with a request for something I never thought I’d ask for. I asked if he’d slap me across the face.

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When Is It Okay to Top From the Bottom?

Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It's considered by many to be a faux pax for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it was wrong even if it really isn't. Today I'd like to tell you that there are a few perfectly valid situations where topping from the bottom is not only necessary but welcome. That's right, the fear of topping from the bottom doesn't have to bring fear to the heart of a submissive.

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