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Fundamentals

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Rules, Rituals and Protocol

Rituals and protocols can add richness, structure and even a little fun to a D/s relationship. Knowing the difference between the two can help the submissive better understand the desires and intentions of the dominant, and to be more pleasing when performing them.

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What to Do When Punishment Starts to Feel Good

I should be accepting punishment for misbehavior and yet I'm getting turned on by the spanking or the evil stick that used to spell doom for my punishment and it starts to feel good. Now, what do I do?

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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What to Expect When Attending a Munch

Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle in real life, rather than online. You can meet people, make contacts, ask questions, and just enjoy your time out without worrying about keeping your secret desires secret any longer. This is most often the place where cross dressers can ‘come out’, so to speak, and appear in make up and outfits that reflect their lifestyle, without negative comments.

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What Would YOU Change To Make Submissive Guide Better?

The survey is totally anonymous, and you can fill it out right here on the blog.

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Article

When Fantasy Collides with Reality: Weighing Expectations when Exploring Kink Fantasies

Unrealistic expectations and desires are some of the most difficult challenges faced by those who are experienced in the lifestyle when dealing with those just entering the lifestyle. In many ways we each buy into a particular ‘aspect’ of the fantasy. Yet over and over people try to implement the impossible.

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When He Slapped Me: My Impressions of Face Slapping

There are light play activities and those that are intense, even on the edge or taboo. Face slapping is considered the latter. Two years ago, I approached KM with a request for something I never thought I’d ask for. I asked if he’d slap me across the face.

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When Is It Okay to Top From the Bottom?

Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It's considered by many to be a faux pax for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it was wrong even if it really isn't. Today I'd like to tell you that there are a few perfectly valid situations where topping from the bottom is not only necessary but welcome. That's right, the fear of topping from the bottom doesn't have to bring fear to the heart of a submissive.

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When Kids Find Your Sex Toys - A Story

In this lifestyle, if you are living it, you take your chances with kids seeing or sensing things. And you learn to be careful and private too. But prepare yourself for the possibility of being outed. It can happen no matter how careful you are.

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When Kinky isn't Sexy

Kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should be separated.

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When Masturbation Is No Longer Private - Playing With Yourself For Your Dominant

We give up many things when we enter into a D/s relationship those that I have given up I have done so freely but not without having taken baby steps. As my Sir required that I masturbate for him I was blown away, what give up my most private, and as many of us are brought up to believe, the most embarrassing thing to be caught at.

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