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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Orgasm Control? Try Forced Orgasms!

Once you start perfecting the art of giving up control of your orgasm to another person, you can start exploring it in other ways. Forced orgasm is not forcing it upon somebody unwilling (consent always of course!) but instead creating a situation where the bottom is orgasming in a way that is surprising, unconventional, or even in a way that makes them uncomfortable.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Role Play? Try Medical Play!

A great way to push the envelope in role play is by trying out medical play. Medical play lends itself so easily to BDSM. You can include bondage (stirrups, anybody?), massively amplify power roles (doctor taking advantage of patient is so taboo), and include new elements of sado-masochistic play.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Service-based Play? Try Serving Others

If it pleases you like it pleases me to serve your Partner, consider adding service based play that involves other consenting parties. Adding things like hosting parties, formal tea parties or D/s dinners can make you feel good about offering your service.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Spanking? Try Flogging

Spanking is another starting point for many people entering the BDSM arena because it is so simple (seeming) and if using your hand pretty difficult to spank your way to injury. Flogging is one of the most standard of BDSM impact tools and a great next step for those looking to take things to the next level.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Wax Play? Try Knives!

If you love the way wax feels drizzled all over your body, consider adding in knife play for the scraping or removal of the built up wax from your skin.

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What's In a Name? Selecting a Scene Name You Can Live With

Choosing a scene name is one thing if it is only ever going to be used online, but it takes a bit more thinking about if you are going to refer to yourself as it in real life as well or use it as an introduction point at a munch or something like 'I'm ********* on FetLife'

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What's That Sound? Discreet BDSM Play and Hiding Toys from Children

Taking precautions when it comes to the noises that can come from play when you have kids in the home.

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What's With All These BDSM Checklists?

A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don't know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don't have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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What to Do When Punishment Starts to Feel Good

I should be accepting punishment for misbehavior and yet I'm getting turned on by the spanking or the evil stick that used to spell doom for my punishment and it starts to feel good. Now, what do I do?

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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