Not that long ago, I found myself reading an article on Dominant Guide written by Morgan, who is the leading contributor but also an absolutely amazing woman. I’m not bragging about this article because I love the author, but because of what she was writing about. For those of you who haven’t clicked the hyperlink above, I highly suggest you take a few minutes to do so and read the article then hop back over here. I promise I’ll wait.
This article really made me think and I realized if I’ve thought this way, then I’m not the only one out there who has. It’s really easy for those of us who are S-types to think that our D-types are perfect. That they hold all the answers of the universe and never make a mistake. And that is the furthest thing from the truth. I think thinking that your D-type is perfect is one of those misconceptions that are always floating around within the lifestyle. I think it’s almost an infatuation thing in a way to see your owner like this. And, it’s not something that’s done on purpose, it’s one of those things that happens without you really noticing that it happens until something happens that changes your perception of things. And when that something happens, it tends to hit hard. So hard that it can possibly lead you to question everything you thought you knew and the reality of the situation tends to be a hard pill to swallow.
I remember when this happened to me. It wasn’t the least bit fun, but it did help me learn a few things. One, that nobody is perfect, no matter what kind of label or title they may have. I think this is something that especially those new in the lifestyle experience, and it’s not just limited to those who are new. No one is immune from this way of thinking. I have no scientific data to back up what I am about to say, but I do think it’s more common in those who are new because well, they don’t know what to expect. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, it’s just one of those facts of life things that you learn as you go.
I’m not saying that it’s just s-types who think the D-types are perfect, but it does happen the other way around. No, I’m not a D-type and I have never been a D-type and I’m not speaking for all D-types out there. But bottom line, we’re all human and if it happens on one end of the spectrum, I’m sure it happens on the other. The same with a new submissive or slave, it’s so extremely easy for a dominant to put his or her slave on a pedestal and ever so slightly overlook and imperfections. Then the slave messes up somewhere along the way and the same thing happens. The dominant’s world comes crashing down around them and they’re standing there, not knowing what to think and it can be extremely disheartening to them and even cause them to question what their purpose in the lifestyle is.
One of the hardest things to remember when in a D/s or M/s relationship is that everyone involved are people. Just because someone is dominant or a submissive, doesn’t change the fact that they’re human and being human means having flaws.I know that we submissives and slaves hold our dominants and masters to a much higher standard than we do anyone because well, they are the centers of our universe and we trust them more than anyone in our lives. With someone like that, it’s easy to think they’re perfect and know everything, but within all honesty, we’re setting them up for failure, and ourselves as well.
It’s really hard to know when you’ve done this and probably won’t realize that it’s been done until the damage has already been done. It’s even a mistake I still make from time to time and probably continue to do. I chalk it up to human nature and try not to let it get the best of me, and that’s what you’ve got to do. Chalk it up to human nature, and move on. The more you dwell on it, the more it’ll eat you alive.