How do you maintain a 24/7 D/s relationship and still live in the real world? This is my new challenge as my Master moved in with me late this summer.


My original thought was to maintain rituals. When I came home, I wanted to go up to my Master in the house and kneel. His recognition of this ritual would redefine my work day persona to my home persona. I think I managed to do this once. Since then, when I come home either He is busy, or I am rushing to change or let the dog out. My work day persona does not really end as I get dinner, or work on clearing space for His things.


My Master has been “Master” 24/7 for a long time. I am called “subbie”. These names are used all the time, except in the company of vanillas.

Collar/ Clothes:

I have worn a public collar of a chain and ‘slave heart’ symbol since shortly after I was collared. My Master would like me to adopt rituals of wearing little or nothing when cooking or watching t.v. This sounds great but does not seem practical to me. I do not like cooking wearing lingerie, as much of it is polyester and flammable. And I do not want to have to keep taking clothes off and on as I let the dog or cats out or in. Yes, I know. It’s not about me, but in the end, if it’s not practical it will go by the wayside.


I love cooking for my Master. I now have developed some favourites for Him, but I also feel my duty is to cook healthy tasty foods. So, instead of the deep fried foods or meat and potatoes, He used to eat all the time, I serve stir fries heavy on the veggies and light on the meat. I am learning to cook items that He requests, such as liver or perhaps deep fried shrimp on occasion. I stock some breakfast treats for weekends.

This morning I started a new work schedule and left the house at 6:45 am. I left a coffee in a thermos and treats by His bedside for when He wakes up. I have to get in the habit of preparing coffee on a timer the night before, but I usually can fix it when I am up letting the dog out in the morning.

Laundry is easy enough as I had a basket system already developed for myself for clean and dirty clothes.

Organization is something that I am better at than my Master, so once I had access to His computer, I was able to start working on His calendar. I log all events mentioned in emails, or casually mentioned to me in passing. I also log my work schedule in a different colour so He knows where I am and at what time. The calendar is kept open so He has a reason to look at it as soon as the computer comes up. This has actually worked much better than I expected!


Well the key to ‘subbiness’ is to be available at all times. But again – is this practical? We try to leave time for each other, but there are days already when one or the other of us is just too tired. I try not to give my Master a ‘no’ but to figure out a time in the not too distant future when I will be much more energetic. If I cannot perform one night, I try to carve out time specifically the next morning or night, no later. I am available, but I am also human.


We have an idea that separate rooms might provide interest and keep things from becoming too routine. I am preparing a separate room for my Master to move into. We will see how this works, but He wants to create a bell system of some sort to call me to Him. This will also make it easier for times when my schedule demands a very early night followed by a very early morning.

Are you in a live in situation with your Dom or Master? How have you adapted to keep going 24/7 in the real world? Please add your comments below.