hello again, I've been talking with a DOM who is considering me for sub training. and wants me to go to him, what should I be expecting on the first face to face meeting.? wendylee

Well, that’s a difficult question with a simple answer. You expect whatever the two of you negotiated would happen.

I say this because a first meeting can be anything from having coffee together, going on a date, to full-on sex and play. It’s simply based on what the two of you are comfortable doing and how you want the relationship to progress. Oftentimes, if communication is strong then you’ll know what is expected of you, you will have agreed to it and the anticipation of the meeting will be magnetic.

Other times the meeting is unplanned and you are unsure what will happen and just go with the flow. That can lead you to dangerous waters; from the play you really aren’t interested in, unplanned sex, being alone with someone who you find really creepy face to face and more risky things.

I would err on the side of caution and go with a dating atmosphere first, especially since you said you have just started talking to them.

Expect to be:

  • nervous
  • cautious
  • self-aware
  • excited
  • horny
  • unsure

Here is some more advice on first meetings and what to expect.