Question: I am still fairly new to this (six months). I love having Submissive Guide, but wish I could connect with other submissives in my area. Does anyone know how to find groups/gatherings? Answer: It’s going to require a bit of digging to find local groups and you should decide now how far you’re willing […]
How to Find a BDSM Munch Group in Your Area Read More »
Full Question: I am in a long-distance D/s relationship. We normally just stick to a regular dynamic but he is coming to visit me in a few weeks and has said he wants to switch. I just want to know how far should I take things. He has said he wants me to punish him
My Dom wants me to switch with him, how do I do that? Read More »
Full Question: Can a little be a slave? How would this dynamic look different from a “normal” m/s dynamic? How would it look the same? Answer: Yes! This answer is for any submissive role, so if you aren’t a little or a slave you will hopefully learn a bit more about roles in BDSM. Roles
Can a little be a slave? Read More »
Question: Why is everything about BDSM/kink sexual? I read a post on FetLife once stating that a play scene could absolutely be non-sexual, but of course, they didn’t give any examples. I have never seen a non-sexual scene. If non-sexual play is possible, then why is almost everyone naked (or close to it) at play
Are BDSM and kink always sexual? Read More »
Question: What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Answer: Great question! I think once you know what it is, you will be able to explain what it is to your partner, so let’s break it down. Sub drop is a physical and sometimes emotional crash after an intense play or
What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner? Read More »
Question: My partner and I are interested in starting a Dom/sub relationship. What are some things we should do beforehand? Answer: Welcome to the great big world of D/s! Creating a power exchange dynamic that suits your relationship will take time and I’m glad you are asking what you should set up before you start.
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Full Question: How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Answer: I’m going to assume that you want to know about sexual pleasure and intimacy during your period, even though you don’t say so specifically in your question. All period-having people have asked this question at one time or another, so
How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Read More »
Question: How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? I know he loves me wearing them, but I already have close to 20 different ones. I’m not sure what to say as I feel that accepting them is part of the deal. He also buys me practical items for the home,
How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? Read More »
Full Question: What are the differences between TPE and 24/7? Does it have to be TPE even if it’s 24/7? Answer: That’s a great question! Let’s start with some definitions. TPE, or Total Power Exchange, is a term coined and defined by Steven S. Davis in the mid-1990s, in the newsgroup “alt.sex.bondage” during his debates
What are the differences between TPE and 24/7? Read More »
Full Question: Is it healthy to be addicted to subspace? Answer: The term “addiction” can mean many things to many people. For our purposes, we’ll define addiction as follows: Addiction is the repeated involvement with a substance or activity, despite the substantial harm it now causes, because that involvement was (and may continue to be)
Is it healthy to be addicted to sub space? Read More »
Question: As someone with anxiety, what are some good ways I can try to emotionally regulate myself when having strong feelings, so I don’t have to burden my Dominant with them all the time? Answer: According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), over 40 million people have anxiety in the US. That’s
How can I regulate my anxiety, so I don’t burden my Dominant? Read More »
Question: How do we interact in front of our children (who are young adults) without them thinking I am a sap and He is a jerk? We know what we want, but how do we obtain it? Is there a trick to this lifestyle? I just feel like something is missing that we need to
Is there a trick to this lifestyle? Read More »
Full Question: I am going through a family crisis and went to my Dom saying that I’m feeling weak and don’t think I can handle any hard limits/lessons at this time. He got very upset and said he couldn’t turn his dominance off, and he couldn’t be my Dom till I was stronger…I’m a mess…I
Asked for a break due to a family crisis and my Dom left me Read More »
Question: I am new to submitting. I love it so far but I want some tips on what I can do to please my Daddy Dom, specifically in the bedroom. Any advice is helpful. Answer: “How do I please my partner?” is a very common question asked by just about every submissive at one time
What Can I Do to Please My Partner? Read More »
Question: Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Answer: One of the best ways to get a list of kinks is to look for a BDSM checklist. Some of them are dozens of pages long and will list practically every common and some very uncommon kinks
Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Read More »
Question: Is it wrong to call a safe word in a punishment I wanted in the first place? Answer: It depends on a lot of factors. First, are we talking about Punishment for a mistake or Funishment for playtime? These two terms get confused a lot, and they can have different interpretations. Once that’s clarified,
Is it wrong to call a safe word in a punishment I wanted in the first place? Read More »
Question: Am I too late to join the BDSM community and find a Dom as I am in my sixties and overweight? Answer: It’s never too late to embrace your sexuality or explore what interests you. People discover BDSM later in life a lot more than we admit. You can’t age out of BDSM. I’ve
Question: Is it appropriate to have an expectation from your Dom that they will tell you if they’ve been intimate with someone else? Answer: The short answer: yes. Absolutely, 100% yes. A relationship, especially a D/s one is built on trust, communication, and honesty. You should not only expect them to tell you when they
Whether you are kinky only in the bedroom or participating in D/s as a lifestyle, developing rituals for your BDSM play is an intimate and powerful way to connect. Using rituals will strengthen your roles, build dynamic scenes, and amplify your playtime to create the ideal atmosphere for BDSM activities. What are Rituals? Rituals used in
How Rituals Can Enhance Your BDSM Scenes Read More »
Through the previous articles in this series, you’ll have learned how to build your personal values and how to let go of your past, including your past mistakes. Learning from failure is a skill that, while difficult, can have longstanding benefits. Many submissives, myself included, get stuck on failure, wear them around our neck with
Solo-Coaching: Learning From Failure – It’s A Good Thing Read More »
