Full Question:
I’m 27 now, but there was a guy I was crazy about at school. We never got together but talked for hours about everything, including kink. We lost touch for a few years, and now we have been talking again. When we met, we ended up kissing. Then he decided he didn’t want a relationship with anyone and that it was because it was the first time he had been single in a long time. I’m left feeling devastated. I’m heartbroken because I want to be with him. But also, I feel like I’ve prepared myself to be someone’s sub, and now I’m left in a weird limbo. Help!
Answer:
It’s okay to feel the way you do. You rekindled a flame that you thought would be a match and your potential partner pushed the pause button. It has to feel terrible to be told that while the fire you two kindled is there, he’s not ready to fan the flames.
While it may not feel it to you, it’s good that he is self-aware and recognizes that he needs a break from relationships, not just you. So if you give him the space he needs, you may be able to pick things up when he’s ready for a relationship again. Did you talk with him about remaining in contact? Maybe you can be a supportive friend while he’s taking time for himself? Feelings could develop slowly, and there would be a foundation of friendship.
While waiting for him, you can work on exploring submission as a single submissive. Learn about the things that interest you, practice skills you want to perfect, join the local community, make friends with other submissives, and just enjoy being you.
If you don’t see yourself waiting to restart things when he’s ready, or you can’t just be friends, give yourself time to feel down about what happened, and then accept you will need to move on. Sometimes plans don’t work out, and we must shift gears again.
You will be submissive to someone one day, and it will feel rewarding and fulfilling for you.
