Full Question:
After a lot of struggle and research and thought, it’s really clear to me that I’m sexually submissive. That’s what turns me on and how I am in intimate relationships. The problem is I don’t see how this would fit in the life I want.
I always imagine a life where I’m the queen of my castle; I have my own place, even in a relationship, and lots of freedom, especially in my career and financial areas. I want to be pretty high up or even the boss at work. I’m skeptical of most authority, extremely stubborn, and I am very smart. Many people find these traits intimidating.
I don’t see how a dom would want me or fit into my life. I’m starting to think it might be best to keep this part of me to myself.
Am I right? Is there something I’m not seeing?
Answer:
It’s refreshing to hear that you know exactly who you are and what you want for your life. It will make finding a compatible partner easier as you can weed out those that don’t fit your vision.
But having a life where you are independent and in charge doesn’t conflict with being submissive in the bedroom. It is the most common form of submission for most submissive types. Bedroom-only submissives are often exactly how you describe yourself; strong, independent types outside the bedroom.
I understand why you feel that being submissive might conflict with your other desires, but it’s all about balance. You can be submissive and still be a strong independent type. Submitting to your partner in an agreed manner doesn’t mean you’re submissive to everyone else or in every situation.
A compatible partner would be a person that wants to only be dominant in the bedroom. You’ll look for someone that is also independent and desires freedom and their own place but still wants a relationship.
Good luck!
