Full Question: I am very Submissive to my man, but it still seems as if he still is putting me down when we argue. I never just throw hurtful stuff in his face, but it seems as if he wants me sometimes, and at other times, if it’s not about sex, forget it. Should I remain in this relationship, or should I stay in it for the sex, because it is great?
Answer:
You contacted me for my honest advice, so here it is. No, you should not stay in this relationship just for sex. If the only redeeming quality of this person is you like to have sex with him, how long can you remain happy in the situation? I’d wager it wouldn’t be long before the put downs, the disrespect, and the negative ways he treats you make the sex not worth it anymore. And why do that to yourself?
It sounds like you aren’t feeling valued or desired. You sound unhappy.
That said, ending a relationship is a huge decision. These decisions can occasionally be fairly straightforward and black and white. Sometimes, you just know it’s the right thing to do. If you’re still unsure if you should end the relationship, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I happy?
- Does my partner inspire me to be a better person?
- Do we support each other?
- How is our communication?
- Do I trust them?
- Do you ever feel like the relationship has held you back?
- Are there any deal breakers going on?
- If I could just press a big red button and end the relationship without any of the messy break-up stuff, would I do it?
Whatever you decide to do, take care of yourself. You have the power to make the decisions that will lead to finding happiness and putting yourself first. Don’t settle for one feature of a relationship when you could have the entire package.
