Since I have had a few articles published and have received such a warm and kind welcome from everyone, I have decided to tell you all a little secret that I’ve been hiding for some time now. The relationship that I have with my Master is more than just a Master/slave relationship. We also have a Daddy/little girl relationship. He is my Daddy and I am His little bambi.
Back when I started out in the lifestyle almost ten years ago, I knew very little about BDSM. I would devour any kind of information I could find on the world wide web, but there was still so much I hadn’t even begun or begun to cover. The Daddy/little girl dynamic was one of those things. When I was in my mid-twenties, I had my first introduction to the Daddy/little girl dynamic. I met Larry on collarme. He messaged me and told me about himself. He told me that he enjoyed playing daddy to little girls and included a brief description of what his role of daddy would encompass. I was very intrigued by this new world that had been opened up to me by this gentleman.
I didn’t have to pretend to act like a little girl to fulfill his fantasy. I have always loved to color and do art projects. I had an entire corner of my room devoted solely to crafts. I always have had tons of stuffed animals and the majority of the time, wanted to be around my stuffed animals rather than actual people. I’ve always thought that cartoons are the best thing on TV and would spend hours on end watching them on whatever channel I could find or even going down to the local library and get an entire season on DVD. My Favorite way to wear my hair is in pigtails, with some kind of ribbons or bows tied in them. I still had children’s books that I loved to read over and over again. I had enough stickers to supply all the surrounding elementary schools and loved organizing them in my sticker albums. I even had a blankie that went with me when I knew I was spending the night at someone’s house. It even earned me the nickname “Linus”. Being silly is second nature to me...more like first nature actually. So fitting into the little girl role wasn’t a stretch for me at all.
I was able to see my new daddy at least once a month. He always had various activities planned for our long weekends: trips to the zoo, taking me to musicals, parks, out for wonderful dinners, ice cream, clothes shopping, and ALWAYS a trip to a bookstore. To top off the weekend, he always had a container full of change to leave with me, which was just icing on the cake because like most children, I had an affinity for coins! I loved being in this relationship, for the most part. On one hand, I was wanting a fulfilling relationship; one where I connected with my partner on a mental, physical, and emotional level. The mental and physical was there, but not the emotional. Any time I tried to open up to him about my feelings, I got shut down. I remember flying to Chicago to spend the weekend with him. He completely ignored my bandaged inner thigh where I had been cutting myself just a few days before going to meet him. Even though I didn’t let him see, it hurt a lot, emotionally. After almost six months, the relationship ended. In a way, I was sad to see it end, but knew it was for the best because I wasn’t completely getting everything I needed out of it.
After him, I walked with several other dominants online. As usual, with the beginning of each conversation, I never mentioned my desire to have more than just a Master, and that I wanted my Master to also be my Daddy, as well as being able to fully submerge myself into this magical world I had been exposed to. For me, I knew that to reach my full potential as a slave, I needed to have the Daddy/little girl dynamic in my relationship, and that being a little girl was the only way for me to completely break down the walls I had built up around myself. Every time I mentioned the subject of calling them daddy and I being their little girl, I got shot down. I would play it off like it was no big deal, nothing important, just a suggestion. When in honesty, I felt myself die a little each time I heard a “no”, thinking I would never be able to express who I truly am.
When I first met Daddy, I kept quiet about the Daddy/little girl dynamic. Once again, that fear of being shot down kept playing in my mind and I was scared that I would ruin things with Him. Daddy was the first dominant male that I could connect with on more than just a sexual and physical level, but an emotional level as well. I was able to tell Him things I never thought I would tell another human being. It was such an earth-shattering experience for me to open up so wholly without fear of judgment. Not only that, but all my little quirks such as having a stuffed animal to sleep with, spending hours watching cartoons, and my all around silliness was fully embraced. For the first time, I didn’t have to feel embarrassed or ashamed of my naturally child-like behavior.
Despite all of this, there was still some reservation on my part about mentioning the Daddy/little dynamic. Not speaking up about this ate away at me for several different reasons. One, I wasn’t being true to myself. Nor was I being a good slave and speaking up about what I needed from my Master. And two, I was holding back a very important and huge part of myself to my Master; the one person on earth I was to have no secrets from. I knew I could do one of two things: either open my mouth or silently live in misery.
I opened my mouth and it was the BEST thing I have ever done in my entire life. Daddy fully embraced this dynamic with me full heartedly. He started doing research and reading what He could about His new role as my Daddy. He bought me the necessary items: a blankie, and a stuffed Bambi, as that’s my slave name from Him. He smiled every time He saw me at the kitchen table with my box full of stickers or my hundreds of crayons spread out all over the place and would tell me how adorable I looked with the pigtails and ribbons in my hair. Not only that, but I was able to fully tear down all those walls I had spent years building up and hiding behind. Even though it was already easy for me to bear my soul to Him, it became so much easier for me to do so now, and I was even more willing to do so. For the first time ever, I wanted someone to know me inside and out.
Even after He had removed my collar and we had gone our separate ways, I still saw Him as my Daddy and thought that He would never be replaced. I felt that meeting a second man who could capture my heart so completely would never be found, and honestly, I didn’t want to look. I still slept with the pink fuzzy blankie and the stuffed Bambi that had been bought for me. I couldn’t and didn’t want to let that go, which was what caused me to contact Him again. During the time we talked before I moved, one of the biggest things we discussed was the Daddy/little girl dynamic and why it was important for me and what things I expected from Him.
One of the misconceptions people have, vanilla and lifestyle alike, about the Daddy/little(and Mommy/little)dynamic, is that the Daddy or Mommy is into pedophilia. Another misconception is that the little was raped or sexually abused as a child and is in an unhealthy relationship because of their past. Those two things are far from true. Being in a Daddy/little or Mommy/little relationship is about a very intimate bond between two consenting adults.
KinkAcademy Videos on the Daddy or Mommy/little Dynamic:
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There’s a great article written by my friend, Taffy Davenport, who is also a little. She wrote this great article and I highly recommend reading it for another perspective on the Daddy/little girl dynamic. Also, feel free to contact either Taffy or myself with any questions you have about the Daddy/little or Mommy/little dynamic!