Dear lunaKM,

How do I end a "relationship" with an OL Dom?  Will he retaliate? I have sent a few pics but no face pics but he knows who I am but I don't know who he is. It was just supposed to be to learn/for fun but it's turning into something beyond my scope.

Dear "needing to end it",

You end it by telling them that you no longer want to see them, just like you would for a face to face relationship. You remove them from instant messenger, block them if you need to and stop talking to them. And just like a face to face relationship, they may react poorly to that. Some people take break ups very badly and behave childishly.

I think you have learned a very important lesson, don't give pictures to someone or post them online if you aren't 100% sure what's going to happen to them. It is very possible that they will end up all over the internet in just seconds.  Also, never give out information about yourself if he's not willing to do the same. Then do a background check or at least the sex offender registry in his area. Online is an easy place for predators to search for prey and while most people you interact with are okay, there's no way to know that for sure.


Dear lunaKM,

I've been a sub for the last 4 months to a wonderful and caring master. I only get to see him part time. Usually for 1 night every three to four weeks. We chat on IM when he is available. I know he had other subs and he has told me I am not allowed to be jealous. I want more but don't know how to approach it. I don't want to lose master, but is he the right one for me? Where do I go from here.

Very Confused

Dear Very Confused,

First, no one can tell you how to feel or not feel. If you begin to feel jealous, that's a normal emotion and you need to be able to understand and respond to that emotion at will.  If you want more, you need to sit him down during one of your visits (or sooner if you can) and tell him that you want more from him and lay it out with what exactly that means for you. He will either agree with your or he won't.

If you are questioning if he's the right one for you, then perhaps you are seeing more compatibility issues than you are sharing here.  I recommend you really think about what you want from a relationship and don't settle. If you can't get it from him, that's not a failure on your part. Please seek someone who will make you feel good and fulfill your needs and desires.


Dear lunaKM,

Hi, I've actually just recently discovered submissive guide and am in love with it!  :-) I've been searching for information like this for years and never got farther than dating sites. But my question is how to find munches. I understand that this should be one of my first steps and I'm not sure where to even find out about any in my area. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful advice lunaKM (here and on youtube) :-)

Hi Munch Hunter,

A good place to find munches is at  You can also find munch groups on and a search engine. If you use the search engine, you want to type in your city or one nearby and the word munch or bdsm community. It should give you at least one result.