What does it mean to be collared? It can mean many things to many different people. For some it is a new beginning in a journey. For others it is a step in the training process. It all depends on the Dominant you are with. For every Dominant has a different way of doing things.
Read The Article | Find SimilarTopping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.
Read The Series | Find SimilarDiscipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.
Read The Series | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarIf you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.
Read The Series | Find SimilarChris Lyon has written a fantastic book that does a great job describing and detailing the two roles of a leading and supportive relationship without all the kink, discipline and fetish mumbo jumbo that tends to muddy our understanding when we get involved in BDSM.
Read The Review | Find SimilarRemember, this person is your "just in case" person. It's extremely unlikely they will ever have to use the information but it's important. So what information is important for your safe call person to have?
Read The Article | Find SimilarKnowing how to keep yourself safe and guard your vulnerability until you can expose it to the one you trust is a valuable trait.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMistress Steel's thoughts on cyber submission and kink.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSubmission is a choice. Being a babygirl might be part of my personality. Being a submissive might be something that comes naturally to me. But submitting to the desires of our Dominant is always a choice.
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