If you need to learn more about collars before reading this post, I suggest What is a Collar?
What does it mean to be collared? It can mean many things to many different people. For some, it is a new beginning in a journey. For others, it is a step in the training process. It all depends on the Dominant you are with. For every Dominant has a different way of doing things.
There is some common ground though when it comes to protocol:
- A collar is given by a Dominant and is received by a submissive.
- The collar remains the property of the Dominant and should be given back in the event the journey ends.
- A collar and the person wearing it should be treated with respect.
- A collared submissive should be considered off-limits to all others.
- A collar should be treated with respect at all times. It is not a toy.
- A collar should only be removed by the Dominant at the end of the journey.
How does one get to the point of being collared? This is probably one of the more confusing things for a submissive to understand because there is no clear-cut answer. There isn’t a formula one can use and arrive at that destination because every Dominant you meet may handle this step in a different manner. Some may not even use what we commonly think of as a collar, but rather a definitive mark such as a piercing or tattoo or even a piece of jewelry.
Many in the lifestyle take months or even years to come to this point in their journey. It is certainly not something to be rushed into. For many lifestylers, it is considered to be a bond greater than that of marriage. Would you rush into a marriage without knowing anything about the person you are marrying? I truly hope that the answer to that question for all of you is “No”.
A collar isn’t something you collect.
It has the definite meaning to both the Dominant and the submissive. It is something to be cherished and respected just like any other type of union. I’d even go so far as to say it is sacred.
I have been fortunate to wear a collar both in real-life and online in my various journeys in this lifestyle. It was never something I rushed into and it was always something I viewed with respect. It was something that I had earned the right to wear. But how does one earn the right?
This is probably a confusing concept for some submissives because of what is commonly known as a Velcro collar. A Velcro collar really has no true meaning behind it and is given and taken away on a whim. Many would argue that it cheapens what a true collar means and I quite frankly have to agree. I say this because it’s not earned in any traditional sense.
But how can a collar be earned?
Glad you finally got around to asking that question. In most cases it is earned by obeying your Dominant, completing your training, and advancing in your relationship to that very step. There is no set timetable for this and it shouldn’t be rushed. It should also be something both parties mutually want.
Whether or not there is a ceremony is up to both parties. Usually, in my experience it is a private affair but sometimes it is witnessed by close friends. It is a solemn occasion and one to be taken with seriousness. There is no right or wrong way to it. Though sometimes it may be followed by a party.
The important thing to remember in all of this is that it is something that you should treasure. A collar symbolizes your commitment and quite often your love and devotion to the Dominant. Why else would you wear it? That is truly the best part of it.
Kink Academy Videos on Collars and Collaring
- Collaring: Basic Concepts
- Concepts Continued
- Collaring Ceremonies
- Collaring Rituals
- Collaring Rituals for Play/Scene
* Submissive Guide is an affiliate partner of KinkAcademy.com