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Article

The Importance of Self-Acceptance When You Are a Little

It’s hard not to internalize the negative messages from people who don’t understand the ageplay dynamic. But you can learn to accept who you are and come out stronger. I’ll give you my own story and some words of encouragement for you to build from. Accept who you are.

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Series

Submissive Mindset

The submissive mindset is the inner joy that manifests in many ways for each person. When someone says they have to be in the submissive mindset it means they have to feel a connection with what they are doing and the bliss of service and submission. But for many it’s hard to maintain or achieve in the first place! Let’s dive into the sticky details.

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Series

BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Discipline and Punishment

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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Too Young for BDSM - Responding to the Questions I Get from Underage Persons

At least once a month I get an email from someone that is under 18 asking very important questions about BDSM and their curious interest. Here are some of the questions and answers I generally give these persons.

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M/s for the Rest of Us

An opinionated review of the book, M/s for the Rest of Us by KE Enzweiler.

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A Safer Kinky Sex How-To

Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I'm amazed by casual play partners that don't employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But even monogamous relationships might use safe sex barriers to prevent pregnancy and for ease of clean up.

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Processing Pain in Play: Learning a Processing Technique

Learning to accept pain has various methods. I suggest you practice these the next time you play and find one or more that work best for you. The best way to learn a processing technique is to practice.

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