Honest Communication or Bust

"Full transparency" isn't just something we bat around on BDSM forums. And it's not necessarily something exclusive to the master/slave or owner/property dynamics. It's actually sort of important in any relationship, regardless of dynamic, or lack thereof. It is the key to "making it work". And it's best to start in the beginning.

I didn't start until what was almost the end. I wasted the first six years of our relationship telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. I thought it was my duty. My responsibility as property.

How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From Your Own Outline

Sure it seems odd at first, but once you write down your key reasons for being submissive and then flesh it out with how to improve, what your talents, skills, and abilities are it's nice to see it all written out. I've referred to the 0utline a couple times so far when I feel that inner voice creep in to break me down.

Deceptive Submissive - The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant

Bogus submissives have only their own self-interest in mind; they manipulate others and take advantage of them for their own agenda. They cause just as much emotional damage as bogus Masters. They are a special breed of sexual predator.

Bootblacking and Why I Love It

The thing for me which is so very wonderful about polishing Master’s shoes is that it is something that I can do on my own to show Master how much I am thinking about him. My focus is always on what I can do in order to make Master’s life better.

An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life

The key is making sure that your newfound friends understand your comfort level at being identified as a kinkster. If you get that out into the open from the start, you’ll be fine!

I'm Confused. He Wants to "Just Be Friends" While Ex is Visiting

Last week, he wanted to back off and just be friends. An ex is supposedly moving in with him temporarily and he doesn't want to have an outside personal life and phone calls at the same time. I'm confused!

Death, Grief, and D/s: How to Help Your Dominant During a Time of Sadness

I learned a few lessons and truths that every submissive should keep in mind when your Dominant is under great strain. Here's what you can do to help your own Dominant through grief.

Uprooting Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Learning How to Make Changes that Stick

After so many years of living a certain way under repeated cycles of self-sabotage, can one make changes? Is it possible to unlearn more destructive habits and learn how to implement thinking and behavior that will instead nurture a budding or existing relationship? Yes!

Finding Love in the D/s Lifestyle

The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it.