Full Question: Do subs always have to be bottoms? Answer: No. It’s a topic based on definitions and identity. A bottom is a receiver in BDSM play. A submissive is the follower half of a D/s relationship. Even the definitions are not synonyms. And they shouldn’t be! It is very common that people who are […]
Do subs always have to be bottoms? Read More »
Full Question: How do you tell your Dominant he is wrong and still be respectful? Would you go ahead and do the punishment for something you do not feel you deserve… just because he is your Dom and his word goes? Answer: The question here really isn’t about how to tell your Dominant they are
Full Question: Can you talk about chemical play, please? Answer: Chemical play is a form of sensation play involving irritants to create sensations during or after play. These substances usually come in the form of liquids, gels, oils, or creams. When they put them on sensitive parts like private areas, nipples, or the butt, it
What is Chemical Play? Read More »
Full Question: When do you start discussing safe words? Answer: The short answer is you start discussing safe words when you begin negotiating playing with someone. I’d even consider having one for sex. It’s just a good idea all around to have a way to tell your partner you need to stop when saying “stop”
When do you start discussing safe words? Read More »
Full Question: Thoughts on lending out a sub? Feels unethical to me. Answer: My personal thoughts on sub-lending are not important to this question, but it did bring a few thoughts to mind that I wanted to cover. The line we often don’t like to cross, which is frowned upon in mainstream culture, is the
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Full Question: If your Dom forgets to do things we have agreed on beforehand, how do you remind them without feeling like you are directing the scene and therefore feeling less submissive? Answer: I understand that when you have to raise a concern during play it could leave you feeling less submissive, but there is
How do you remind your Dom of things they agreed to while remaining submissive? Read More »
Full Question: What does the bottom/sub need to learn about bondage? Answer: I will expand on this question and give you a few tips on what a bottom needs to know about any form of BDSM play, including bondage. It’s often hinted that the submissive doesn’t need to learn how to throw a flogger or
What does a bottom need to know about BDSM play? Read More »
Full Question: Recommendations for journal prompts? I LOVE the advent calendar! Answer: I’m thrilled that you enjoy the Submissive Advent Calendar! For those that don’t know what we’re talking about, I created an Advent calendar with submissive-focused tasks to do during the holiday season, and you can pick up your copy on Amazon or our
Recommendations for Journal Prompts? Read More »
Full Question: Can you give me some advice to handle better the transition period of getting rules and structure and sticking to it? Answer: Learning new behaviors and habits will always be a challenge, and that’s what rules and structure are from your Dominant partner. So, if you attack them like any other goal, it
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Full Question: What is the best way to train oneself to deepthroat? How to get rid of the gag reflex? Answer: Great question! The main reason for the gag reflex is to prevent you from choking, so it’s not advisable to stop it completely. That said, there are various ways to desensitize your gag reflex
How can I train myself to deepthroat? Read More »
Full Question: What if your Dom doesn’t want to compromise? Is it his way or no way? Answer: Just as I’m sure you have things you are unwilling to compromise on, your partner can have things they refuse to budge with. The deciding factor for any relationship is determining compatibility. This includes the areas where
What if your Dom doesn’t want to compromise? Read More »
Full Question: I have a mentor that is training me to be his sub; however, I have been aggressively approached by a Dom who wants to collar me now. How do I handle this? I much prefer to wait for my mentor. Answer: Someone who doesn’t know you has no right to offer you a
How Do I Tell an Interested Dominant that I’m not Interested? Read More »
Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
Full Question: Is a contract required for a D/s relationship? Answer: The short answer is no. A contract is not required for a D/s relationship. A D/s contract is a physical document outlining the D/s relationship. A contract is not a legally binding document but more of a symbolic agreement between two consenting individuals. Some
Is a contract required for a D/s relationship? Read More »
Full Question: I’m trying to find my first munch meeting in NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Getting out and meeting kinky people face-to-face can be so intimidating. I understand the desire to make sure that you are walking into the safest environment possible. First,
How do you know if a munch is safe? Read More »
Full Question: If you’re relatively new to all of this and are building a dynamic with a new dom, what is your thought on randomly and only occasionally calling the safe word for the purpose of building the trust that they will, in fact, stop? Answer: It’s not uncommon for submissives to want to test
Using Your Safeword to Test Their Trust? Read More »
Full Question: My boyfriend and I are just starting to change our relationship to a total D/s one. We’ve been dating for 2 years and have no models for the change. What can we do to make the transition smooth and pain-free? Answer: What an exciting adventure you are embarking on! While any relationship transition
Full Question: Do most Doms like to see their handiwork afterward? I have a new Dom and would like to text pics and thank him for my bruises. I don’t quite have a read on him, so I was looking for opinions. Answer: The short answer is “maybe.” First, I want to clarify to those
Do Doms Like to See The Resulting Bruises from Playtime? Read More »
Full Question: How do I know if I’m being too emotionally dependent on my Dom? Answer: Emotional support is one of the biggest benefits of having a relationship. Your partners are there for you in times of need, and stress can offer you empathy and comfort, even guidance. Emotional dependence passes the point of support.
How do I know if I’m being too emotionally dependent on my Dom? Read More »
Full Question: What is the secret to a successful LDR? Answer: There’s no secret to successful relationships, no matter if they are long-distance or face-to-face. All relationships require both parties to work hard to cultivate the feelings and connection necessary to build that relationship and make it strong. Overall, a successful LDR requires effort, commitment,
What is the secret to a successful LDR? Read More »
