Full Question: I’ve recently given myself to my first dom. It’s an online LDR, but I feel deeply connected to him. we’ve only been talking for about a month, but I have very strong feelings toward him. I’m not sure how deeply he feels for me. Should I separate myself from these feelings or embrace them and hope he eventually feels the same? I’m afraid this will push him away.
Answer:
With the amount of intimacy and vulnerability developed in power exchange relationships, it’s not uncommon for submissives to feel a deep connection with their Dominant. You can’t stop feelings from developing. Many submissives need a bond beyond the D/s or M/s dynamic for them to feel complete.
While a month is a short time to begin to feel these feelings, it’s important to understand that they are still normal. Can you really separate yourself from feelings and deny yourself and him the closeness that those feelings provide you? I don’t recommend doing this.
I suggest you find out from him what he wants to build in a relationship with you. Talk seriously about his expectations, how he would like you to feel, and if love can be a part of it with him. You shouldn’t keep your feelings secret, but you should temper them based on what you learn about his desires for a relationship.
It’s better to know what he’s looking for than to wonder, hope, or assume you know his desires. I understand your fear of pushing him away, but any Dominant worth their title will understand that feelings can manifest themselves, and he’ll be mature enough to be compassionate.
And if you find out that he’s not looking for something serious, at least you know and can resolve to continue as is or to end it on a good note as an incompatibility.
I wish you luck in your budding relationship!
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