Full Question: In a polyamorous D/s dynamic, can play partners be a primary partner? Or should it be someone who is serving the Dominant? Answer: In a polyamorous D/s dynamic, the roles and relationships can be quite fluid and are often defined by the individuals involved based on their needs, desires, and agreements. Play partners […]
What role is a primary partner in poly D/s? Read More »
Full Question: Ending a dynamic as a sub feels SO hard. The desire to please is so strong. Help? Answer: Breaking free from a relationship not serving you is hard, no matter how you identify. As a submissive, you may have a high inclination to submit to the person you no longer want to be
How do you end a dynamic as a submissive? Read More »
Full Question: How can we make a collar ceremony, like on which condition does that append? Answer: Creating a collaring ceremony is a significant milestone in a D/s relationship, marking a deep commitment between partners. The ceremony can occur at any point after the negotiation phase, though some may wait until they intend their commitment
How do you create a collaring ceremony? Read More »
Full Question: Can you have more than one submissive trait? Answer: First, I’d like to say that this question is a bit ambiguous. I will try to answer the question as I interpret it, but if this is your question and I didn’t answer it in the way you wanted, please contact me. Submissives come
Can you have more than one submissive trait? Read More »
Full Question: What’s the difference between submissive and slave? Answer: I’ve been hanging on to this question for a while, because while I have a viewpoint, labels and definitions in BDSM often have contention to them. There is no one definition for these terms within the BDSM and kink lifestyle. It’s individually defined. Generally, people
What’s the difference between submissive and slave? Read More »
Full Question: Can you talk about punishment dynamics? What’s fair? What’s too much? How do you negotiate it? Answer: A punishment dynamic is a consensual agreement between partners that the Dominant one will watch and correct poor behavior in the submissive. This can be from following rules and particular instructions or used to break bad
What is a punishment dynamic? Read More »
Full Question: I am a new dom. How do I not come off as a fake dom? Answer: Understandably, when you are new, you feel like everyone is judging you as “real” or “fake,” and it can be hard to find real connections. So, let’s start with what a fake dom really is and talk
I’m new, how do I not look like a fake Dom? Read More »
Full Question: Hi! Please, I need help with some rules for a first date. I can’t find it on Fetlife. Thank you so much. Answer: First and foremost, this is a date. It’s just like any other date you may have been on. The only difference is that you are dating someone to see if
Are there rules for a first date with a Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: When talking to a new potential Dom, I find he will write sporadically. There are often days or over a week until he responds to my messages. How much should I expect when getting to know someone? I like to really get to know someone before I commit/ play, and I find that
How much communication should I expect? Read More »
Full Question: Recommendations for journal prompts? I LOVE the advent calendar! Answer: I’m thrilled that you enjoy the Submissive Advent Calendar! For those that don’t know what we’re talking about, I created an Advent calendar with submissive-focused tasks to do during the holiday season, and you can pick up your copy on Amazon or our
Recommendations for Journal Prompts? Read More »
Full Question: Can you give me some advice to handle better the transition period of getting rules and structure and sticking to it? Answer: Learning new behaviors and habits will always be a challenge, and that’s what rules and structure are from your Dominant partner. So, if you attack them like any other goal, it
Tips for Learning New Rules and Structure Read More »
Full Question: What if your Dom doesn’t want to compromise? Is it his way or no way? Answer: Just as I’m sure you have things you are unwilling to compromise on, your partner can have things they refuse to budge with. The deciding factor for any relationship is determining compatibility. This includes the areas where
What if your Dom doesn’t want to compromise? Read More »
Full Question: What is a Day Collar? Do you have one? Could you share a picture? Answer: When people talk about Day Collars, they mean a collar that doesn’t look like an obvious leather BDSM collar. Generally, it is discreet in appearance, often passing for conventional jewelry. Some professions have wardrobe or safety rules regarding
What is a Day Collar? Do you have one? Read More »
Full Question: What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant? Answer: It takes some thought, that’s for sure. I suggest you start with a personal protocol. A personal protocol is a set of rules with a punishment/reward system that any submissive can use to help improve themselves
How Can I Satisfy My Need to Submit Without a Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: Do dominants normally celebrate their sub’s birthday? Answer: Whenever I get asked about what is normal, I’m reminded of a quote from Tori Spelling, “Everybody knows there’s no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective.” So, do Dominants celebrate their sub’s birthday? Yes. Or no. It
Do Dominants normally celebrate their submissive’s birthday? Read More »
Full Question: I met someone online, and he opened up to me about BDSM and him being a Dom. I had never even heard of the term before. Almost a year later, I still have a lot of questions unanswered. He wants us to meet, and so do I, but I’m scared. He says that
I’m very new, should I slow down? Read More »
Full Question: I’m a sub, and my wife is an amazing Domme, but she prefers not to do scenes as often as I would like. Is it unheard of to have a regular Domme that isn’t your partner? I feel like I need this more than she does, and to have an outlet to sub
Can you have a Dominant outside your primary D/s relationship? Read More »
Full Question: Do you think that someone can lose their submissive side? And how do they get it back? Answer: I feel if you identify as submissive, you can’t actually lose it, but you can lose sight of why you are submissive and what your focus in submission is. I get visibly angry at the
Can you lose your submissive side? Read More »
Full Question: I am desperate. I have been the submissive guy of a dominant man, in the beginning, I asked if there was another relationship apart from mine, and he said no. Yesterday I discovered that he has a boyfriend and various sexual partners. What should do as a submissive? Answer: So you asked him
Discovered My Dominant Has Other Relationships and Lied to Me Read More »
Full Question: How would I go about transitioning from face-to-face to LDR D/s relationship? We’re going to different Universities. Answer: Long-Distance Relationships are quite different from regular relationships and they are not easy to handle but they can be challenging and a lot of fun too. It’s a new way of living life altogether! Researching
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