I have a question that I am desperately trying to understand. I have been a submissive instinctively since I was in high school but I have been out of the scene for a few years. At first it was because I was focusing on schooling and then it was because my current partner is vanilla. I have been feeling similar to the times I have gone through sub drop but I have been going through of being able to submit to my partner because while she is willing to try being my dominant from time to time to see if she likes it I don’t want to rush her into it but the feeling of not being able to submit to her yet is doing an emotional number on me. Please help with any advise you have.

Thank you, Lilly

Greetings Lilly,

When needs are not met regardless of what kind of relationship it is, you are left with a wanting.  This is a really difficult situation only in that you need to decide whether or not you can be patient enough for your partner, or find a way to fill your needs by other means.  As my own Master has expressed to me many times, one person can not fufill all and sometimes not even ¾ of our needs.  Perhaps you need to communicate with your partner that this need is very strong and that if they can not provide this for you, that you will need to find an additional partner who could. It is not an easy step to take, and if your partner is willing to work on this, they would need a lot of reassurance that you are not out to replace them. Abandonment issues are very common in these types of situations.  Maybe even consider an online D/s relationship where there would not be physical contact if that is an issue with your current partner.  There are many options, but it still would involve another Dominant unless your partner is ready to explore this option with you. They should be able to see how important this is to you considering how you are feeling. As long as you are communicating. But never push, or that could have the opposite reaction that you are hoping for.

Keep strong.

SehAnru