Dear lunaKM, I am new to the lifestyle, and have never had a true Dom. However, now there is a Dom that has shown interest in me, alongside his current submissive/fiancee. While it would be a long distance relationship (LDR), I am interested in the offer, but unsure as how to pursue. To give a […]
How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New Read More »
I was recently chatting at a local BDSM coffee event with a just-made friend who made mention (as she was just meeting my husband and I for the first time) that it was quite surprising to learn that he is the Dominant one and I am the submissive one. We get this all the time, if we
Don’t Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles Read More »
A healthy, happy relationship is one of the key desires for many submissives, no matter where they are on their journey. When I first started exploring BDSM, I encountered many people who instilled valuable knowledge that strong, stable, and loving relationships can exist between Dominants and submissives. It made me crave a relationship so badly
Due to the traditional components of the Dominant/submissive dynamic, the topic of financial dependency seems to spring up in a lot of discussions. Is being financially dependent integral to being a 27/4 submissive? Does long term submission mean giving up your job? Is it healthy, or does it raise red flags? So forth, etc. Like
Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, I am finally at ease with my Daddy Dom, ready to move on in our relationship, giving him my trust which has been hard for me, because of past abuses. Even thinking of myself as ‘little” for him was hard at first. But I so enjoy the simple nature of the relationship.
How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him? Read More »
Luna, what is reasonable to expect from a dominant in exchange for submission and service? I realize everyone is different, but when a sub is not being financially supported and is doing household care and management, handling the everyday paperwork of bill paying, handling home repair calls, etc.; assuming her Dom is loving, caring, what else
What Should I Expect from My Dominant? Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya of Underhishand.com. My daughter found the key and rifled through our toybox about two years ago. She was 12. This absolutely and completely traumatized her. She had enough knowledge (most likely from the internet) to know what dildos and vibes and plugs were, cuffs and whips are pretty
When Kids Find Your Sex Toys – A Story Read More »
This is a guest post by Elle. I was inspired to write this article by the recent series about submissive journalling. I found myself wanting to get back into journaling, yet still holding back. This is a personal account of what can happen when journalling goes wrong. In my case, it was when I became
Dear Submissive Guide, How do I find a Dom? I know I want to be a sub, but I’m lost. I don’t know how to find a Dom and live the way I want to. Sincerely, Looking for a Dom Hey there! You’ve asked a question that every single submissive asks themselves at some point:
How Do I Find a Dominant? Read More »
from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-10-16 The topic for this article came to me from a reader survey I did over a year ago where I asked you what was most pressing to your at that moment and this question, “must I always wait for my Dom to tell me what to do?” came up.
Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do? Read More »
Maintaining your role as a sub in the middle of a scene is pretty easy to do, but the conversion from situational submissive to full-time sub can present a number of fairly interesting challenges as you settle into your full-time role. One of the strangest full time submitting challenges that I’ve found is dealing with
Submitting While One of You is Sick Read More »
At some point in our community participation we will come face to face with the question of poly vs. monogamy. Even if it’s a fleeting thought of wondering if either is better for our personal relationships, we’re still confronted with the possibility. I think that even in examining the possibility it can force us to
To Be or Not To Be – Poly, Mono, Mono-Poly Flexible Read More »
Hello SG, I’m struggling with a problem that has been following me for quite some time now. My Dominant and I have been through hell and high water, involving ‘light’ cheating (sexting each other, meeting up, but did not have sex) while I was away on holiday with family. This was almost a year ago. I
Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet Read More »
Ask a new parent, kinky or not, about their sex life, and they’ll probably say, “What sex life?” When you’re only getting a couple hours of sleep at a time or feeding a baby around the clock, sex is usually the last thing on your mind. While D/s relationships tend to have more communication about
BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years Read More »
With kids, it’s inevitable that they’re going to ask questions that make you want to curl up into a ball, cover your ears, and sing, “La-la-la, I can’t hear you!” This isn’t a kink thing, it’s a parent thing. However, as a kinkster, there’s a chance that, eventually, they’ll see or hear something and ask
BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions Read More »
When someone asks me how it’s possible to be kinky when you have kids, I know they’re imagining that it must be difficult to have a scene, enjoy kinky sex, or do anything remotely kinky as a parent. It’s not impossible to get kinky, but it requires creativity and discipline. It also depends on how
BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around Read More »
As a submissive who has to interact with the outside world whether that’s work, family, or going to the grocery store, you already know that it can be hard to switch back and forth between roles and expectations. Frankly, after a long week of being my vanilla self, I’m exhausted, cranky, and usually feeling not-so-submissive.
BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive Read More »
When I talk about my life as a kinkster, I talk about being a parent of two kids. It shocks a lot of people to know I’m in a 24/7 D/s relationship and a parent. A lot of people ask, “How can you be a parent and a submissive?” I always imagine there’s a bit
BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, I am a sub and I have an amazing Master. He is loving, caring, respectful and just everything a sub could ask for. He collared me 6 months ago and we moved in together 2 months ago. We get along great in every area so far. The problem is this, lately, I’ve
Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship Read More »
