Full Question: I am going through a family crisis and went to my Dom saying that I’m feeling weak and don’t think I can handle any hard limits/lessons at this time. He got very upset and said he couldn’t turn his dominance off, and he couldn’t be my Dom till I was stronger…I’m a mess…I […]
Asked for a break due to a family crisis and my Dom left me Read More »
Question: I am new to submitting. I love it so far but I want some tips on what I can do to please my Daddy Dom, specifically in the bedroom. Any advice is helpful. Answer: “How do I please my partner?” is a very common question asked by just about every submissive at one time
What Can I Do to Please My Partner? Read More »
Question: Is it appropriate to have an expectation from your Dom that they will tell you if they’ve been intimate with someone else? Answer: The short answer: yes. Absolutely, 100% yes. A relationship, especially a D/s one is built on trust, communication, and honesty. You should not only expect them to tell you when they
Recently, my Master and I listened in on a kink Q&A. I was interested to see what questions people had about kink, especially people seeking guidance. Somewhat surprisingly, most people who tuned in seemed to have questions about relationships more than kink. Many of them were submissives curious about how to look for or embark
Looking for a Dominant Partner? Do This First! How To Perform a Self-Assessment Read More »
While many of us will feel guilty when we need time away from our dominants, there is no question that it is productive and therapeutic. Spending time exclusively with your partner and not getting any personal time alone, especially introverts can be somewhat of a challenge. If you’re stuck in self-isolation, having coping mechanisms to
10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Dynamic in Isolation with Your Dominant Read More »
Rituals have always been an essential aspect of my daily life. In and outside of submission, ritual is how I interact with my reality. Practicing ritual is how I organize my time and make sense of complex abstract ideas (like love, devotion, and purpose). Yet, ritual itself is a complex abstract idea. Many people struggle to define it, and
The Concept of Ritual in D/s Relationships Read More »
Do you have a good idea of what your submission looks like? Just about every single BDSM book, website, or experienced kinky person has defined submission at one time or another. The dictionary definition just doesn’t cover all the nuances that living in a submissive lifestyle can include. If you’re brand new to BDSM or
The Basic Tenets of Being a Submissive in a D/s Dynamic Read More »
In “ Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty,” we explored implementing briefing rituals as a way of coping with uncertainty in our lives. We also discussed constructing lists for flexibly outlining our days. We approached this to help erect some semblance of a schedule when outright scheduling is not possible. While that article is a
Building Better Briefing Lists for a More Productive Day in Uncertain Times Read More »
We live in uncertain times—as submissives and as people—our lives are changing every day. Uncertainty is not automatically a problem in itself. However, many of us have become accustomed to a certain amount of structure and control in our lives, making it challenging to make an abrupt, constant change. This makes sense. After all, we
Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty Read More »
When Chris M. Lyon, a relationship consultant, and D/s expert, approached me with news of a virtual course, “The Path of the Submissive Partner,” made specifically for the submissive partner, I was intrigued to know what she had created. I’ve talked about how impressed I was by her book, “ Leading and Supportive Love,” in a review
Review of The Path of the Submissive Partner Virtual Course Read More »
In D/s, the roles we agree to can seem very cut and dry. It sometimes feels like there is a submissive mold and a dominant mold—almost like all s-types and D-types come from the same cookie-cutter and just bake differently. This is because we have pre-established notions that dictate to us what we feel is
3 Ways You Can Be Emotionally Supportive of Your Dominant Read More »
Jealousy is an odd bird. It nests in the unlikeliest of places. It sings at the most inopportune times—and it doesn’t let anyone sleep. Whether you’re in a D/s dynamic that’s open to new play partners, or you’re in a polyamorous relationship, jealousy can be a challenge. If it’s causing snags in your relationships (and
5 Tips for Coping with Your Jealousy in a D/s Dynamic Read More »
Last week, I was asked, “How do you find a balance?” about “M/s and life.” I couldn’t answer at first because I honestly didn’t know what to say. That question will always have such an individualized answer. What is right and balanced for me might be unfulfilling or overwhelming for another, so how could I
Finding Balance in Your D/s Dynamic (and Your Life!) Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. The Formal Collar (frequently called the Slave Collar) is the representation of the final stage of commitment between the Dominant and submissive. This collar is offered after the Dominant and submissive have progressed
The Formal Collar Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. You have gorged. Years have passed from that first moment of recognition of self. Over those years you have explored different people and situations. Peeked inside of places you may have decided just
Beyond the Kink Buffet: When You’re Ready for a Lifetime Partner Read More »
Uniqueness is underrated. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, are comparing themselves to others in order to fit in, but it’s the fun little unique aspects of a relationship that make it special. Kindling those unique things is especially important for me in a mono-poly and likely most other relationships. Every relationship is unique
When I began Submissive Guide years ago, I wanted it to be a safe haven for information and experience exchange for submissives. I didn’t realize that it would be a resource for Dominants as well. As time went on, I noticed that I was getting questions from Dominants in my email and praise from them
I’m a New Dominant, How Can Submissive Guide Help Me Understand My Submissive? Read More »
Death. It is going to happen to all of us. It’s a natural part of life. But we avoid talking about it more than anything else. Dealing with a death of a loved one would go a lot smoother if we knew what their final wishes were, right? Do you know what your partner would
Final Preparations: Do You Know Your Dominant’s Final Wishes? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Collaring is the term commonly used by those in the D/s community to describe the commencement of a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. It carries the same type of weight that
The Collar of Consideration Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. HUMBLE: …not proud or haughty, not arrogant or assertive, reflecting, expressing or offered in a spirit of deference, respect or submission, unpretentious, lacking all signs of pride, aggressiveness or assertiveness. How simple the
Understanding Humility in D/s Read More »
