Dominant/submissive and Master/slave dynamics are often confused, but they are not the same. This article explores the key differences between D/s and M/s relationships, including levels of authority, structure, consent, and expectations, helping submissives better understand which dynamic aligns with their needs and desires.
What are the differences between D/s and M/s? Read More »
Maintaining a D/s dynamic in public doesn’t require putting your kink on display. With subtle protocol, private signals, and thoughtful consent, you can stay connected to your Dominant while blending seamlessly into everyday life. This guide shows you how to create discreet, meaningful public D/s that fits your relationship.
Submitting in Public: How to Maintain Your D/s Dynamic Without Exposing It Read More »
When a Dominant is new or feeling unsure, a submissive’s support can make a meaningful difference. This article explores how a willing submissive can help a nervous new Dominant feel more confident during scenes through communication, reassurance, feedback, and mutual trust, without taking over the power exchange.
How can a willing sub help a willing but nervous new Dom feel comfortable in the scene? Read More »
When communication suddenly drops in a long-distance D/s relationship, it can feel confusing and deeply painful. This article explores possible reasons for communication gaps, how to cope emotionally, and ways to address the issue with honesty and care while protecting your own well-being.
My long distance partner cuts communication with me and it hurts, what can I do? Read More »
Collaring is deeply personal, and there’s no single “perfect” choice. This article explores how Dominants and submissives can approach choosing a collar together, considering symbolism, comfort, intention, and meaning, so the collar reflects the dynamic and commitment it represents rather than outside expectations.
How do we find the perfect collar? Read More »
When a Dominant needs time alone to decompress, an anxious submissive may feel hurt or rejected. This article explores how to respect a Dominant’s need for space while managing anxiety, improving communication, and strengthening the relationship through understanding, patience, and care.
Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being lesser, having lower status, or
Why is it called serving a Dominant? Read More »
Rules in a D/s relationship can be more than boundaries—they can be powerful tools for connection, growth, and maintaining the submissive mindset. In this article, I share how rules shape my submission, the emotional value they hold, and practical strategies any submissive can use to follow them with consistency and purpose.
How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission Read More »
How long should you chat with a Dom online before meeting? A week is a fair start, but don’t stay stuck in endless texting. Learn when it’s time to suggest a coffee date, what their response can reveal, and how to spot if they’re serious—or just stringing you along.
How long should I talk with a Dom online before a face to face date? Read More »
Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like walking a tightrope. What if
This may be easier than you think, dear s-type! It is important to remember that finding the right Dominant or Top through dating or shopping around can sometimes feel challenging. I liken the vanilla dating pool to a bowl of cereal. Lots of individual options floating around. Now take a spoonful out and in there-
I want to be sexually submissive, but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner? Read More »
Question: I am just starting out on my sub journey. I know very little. That being said, I have learnt loads in the last few weeks. I have met a Dom, and we’ve been chatting, etc., and he’s been amazing answering all my questions. He is a sadist. We’ve just touched on punishment and he
What should I be thinking about when learning about punishment? Read More »
Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what
Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words? Read More »
I think it is important to break this down into each side of the slash, so here are the general descriptions for some of the more common s-types. (Disclaimer: there is no one right answer/definition, this is based on generalized experience; labels should always be the START of a discussion, not the end of one.
What are the different types of submissives? Read More »
Question: My husband and I are in a D/s relationship. However, I’m the one who runs the house, takes care of the kids, and is always the one “in charge.” How can he and I maintain our dynamic? How do I stay in touch with my submissive side? Answer: Being the one who manages the
How Can I Stay Submissive While Running the Home? Read More »
It is really easy to understand managing vanilla relationships around others (including kids living at home). It boils down to understanding one crucial concept: discretion. Discretion: the quality of behaving or speaking in a way to avoid causing offence or (IMPORTANTLY) revealing confidential information. We can mostly agree that kissing your spouse “bye” in front
Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home? Read More »
Question: Is there ever a time when it’s ok to tell your Dominant no when he tells you to do something? Answer: Absolutely. While submission involves obedience and trust, it doesn’t mean blind compliance. There are several situations where saying “no” is not only acceptable but necessary: A healthy D/s dynamic is built on mutual
Is it ever okay to say no to your Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: Can two BDSM submissives have a regular vanilla relationship? What happens as the couple grows closer, and one person wants the other to change to a Top/Dom? Answer: Let’s start by saying there is no “normal relationship.” Can two submissives have a successful vanilla relationship together? The answer is “yes, two people can
Can Two Submissives Have a Relationship? Read More »
Full Question: I want to be submissive sexually but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner? Answer: The term you’re likely going to be using more readily while you search for a partner is “bedroom-only” submissive. And your partner would then be a “bedroom-only” Dominant. This type of relationship is more common than
How do I find a bedroom-only Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: Do you have any advice for someone already in a committed relationship (marriage, for example) who discovers that she is submissive or at least has submissive tendencies? Until this discovery, the sex was mostly vanilla with very light choking play occasionally (so my partner MIGHT have some interest). Answer: I have lived this
Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship Read More »
