Whether you’re in a 24/7 D/s relationship or just exploring, this category delves into roles, power exchanges, and the emotional intricacies that make these connections unique.
Full Question: I like to be a brat sometimes. Is that a turn-off for the Doms in general? A lot of them don’t like brats. Answer: Being a brat in the BDSM community is a unique and valid role within the spectrum of submission. It’s not a turn-off for all Dominants; in fact, many Doms […]
Is being a brat a turn off for Dominants? Read More »
Full Question: In a polyamorous D/s dynamic, can play partners be a primary partner? Or should it be someone who is serving the Dominant? Answer: In a polyamorous D/s dynamic, the roles and relationships can be quite fluid and are often defined by the individuals involved based on their needs, desires, and agreements. Play partners
What role is a primary partner in poly D/s? Read More »
Full Question: Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first? Are their needs and desires the main goal of submission? Answer: I can really relate to this question. When I first started exploring submission, I believed that it was my duty/calling/job to make sure my Dominant’s needs and desires were always fulfilled, often to the
Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first? Read More »
Full Question: How do you handle a 24/7 D/s relationship breakup? Answer: A breakup is hard, no matter what kind of relationship you were in. You’ve invested time and emotions to build what you hoped would be a lasting relationship, only for it to end. The end of a D/s relationship comes with all the
How do you handle a 24/7 D/s relationship breakup? Read More »
Full Question: What advice do you have for subs who are more experienced than their counterparts? How can you, as a follower, help them lead without doing the leading? Answer: What an exciting experience! It’s common for one partner to have more experience than the other. There are a few things you can do to
As a follower, how can you help your partner lead without doing the leading? Read More »
Full Question: Can you talk about the difference between a unicorn and being a partner in a throuple where 2 partners are married? Oh, and while I am at it, tips for successful throuples! Relationship Agreements, communication, etc Answer: What a great question! Unicorn polyamory is the term for when two people who are in
What’s the difference between unicorn polyamory and a being in a throuple? Read More »
Full Question: Ending a dynamic as a sub feels SO hard. The desire to please is so strong. Help? Answer: Breaking free from a relationship not serving you is hard, no matter how you identify. As a submissive, you may have a high inclination to submit to the person you no longer want to be
How do you end a dynamic as a submissive? Read More »
Full Question: How can we make a collar ceremony, like on which condition does that append? Answer: Creating a collaring ceremony is a significant milestone in a D/s relationship, marking a deep commitment between partners. The ceremony can occur at any point after the negotiation phase, though some may wait until they intend their commitment
How do you create a collaring ceremony? Read More »
Full Question: How do you move on from a dynamic that was ended in an unclear way or with unresolved issues? We are still in the same community, and I don’t want things to be this awkward, but they are very uncomfortable right now. Answer: Navigating a breakup can be challenging, especially when unresolved issues
How do you move on from a failed relationship while in the same BDSM community? Read More »
Full Question: Do you think it is a must to have a contract? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having one. Answer: I can understand your hesitation, so let’s get this out of the way right up front: BDSM contracts are not required to have a happy, healthy relationship. Many relationships function just fine without
Is a BDSM contract a must-have? Read More »
Full Question: What are some ideas for keeping long-distance D/s engaged and spicy? Answer: Building an engaged long-distance D/s relationship takes a lot of patient work, but with some simple ideas, you can keep your relationship going with lots of connection and spicy play. First, a long-distance relationship will rely on a lot of communication,
What are some ideas for keeping long-distance D/s engaged and spicy? Read More »
Full Question: How can I avoid getting too attached to or developing romantic feelings for a Dominant with whom I’m not in a romantic relationship? Answer: Whether you’re in a casual relationship with this Dominant or just a really good friend and are beginning to crush on them, trying to avoid developing feelings of love
Full Question: Can you talk about punishment dynamics? What’s fair? What’s too much? How do you negotiate it? Answer: A punishment dynamic is a consensual agreement between partners that the Dominant one will watch and correct poor behavior in the submissive. This can be from following rules and particular instructions or used to break bad
What is a punishment dynamic? Read More »
Full Question: Tips for a new submissive going into the lifestyle with a Dom who is also new. Answer: What an exciting time! When you first embark on exploring BDSM and D/s relationships, there’s a lot of new information that is likely to overwhelm you. It can be difficult when you have so many questions
What are some tips for couples who are both new to BDSM? Read More »
Full Question: I am a new dom. How do I not come off as a fake dom? Answer: Understandably, when you are new, you feel like everyone is judging you as “real” or “fake,” and it can be hard to find real connections. So, let’s start with what a fake dom really is and talk
I’m new, how do I not look like a fake Dom? Read More »
Full Question: Hi! Please, I need help with some rules for a first date. I can’t find it on Fetlife. Thank you so much. Answer: First and foremost, this is a date. It’s just like any other date you may have been on. The only difference is that you are dating someone to see if
Are there rules for a first date with a Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: How can I approach a Dominant? Answer: Many submissives struggle to approach Dominants due to fear of not appearing submissive as the pursuer. However, it is possible to approach a Dominant with confidence. Here are some tips: Face-to-Face: Online: Overall, confidence, authenticity, and assertiveness are key when approaching Dominants, whether in person or
How can I approach a Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: How do you know when you’re ready to start sub-training? Answer: It depends on what you consider submissive training. First, let’s discuss what the word ‘training’ really means in a D/s dynamic setting. When you undergo training, what is really meant is that you are learning the mannerisms, behavior, attitude, and activities that
How do you know when you’re ready to start sub training? Read More »
Full Question: I’m starting to enter a long-distance d/s relationship as a sub. You have a lot of excellent articles about self-aftercare for subs in long-distance relationships, which I’ve made good use of, but do you have any advice for how to look after your dom long distance? Answered by Kayla Lords: You raise an
How Do I Take Care of My Dominant Long Distance? Read More »
Full Question: I’ve recently given myself to my first dom. It’s an online LDR, but I feel deeply connected to him. we’ve only been talking for about a month, but I have very strong feelings toward him. I’m not sure how deeply he feels for me. Should I separate myself from these feelings or embrace
I have strong feelings for my new Dom, should I keep them secret? Read More »
