Full Question: Can you talk about the difference between a unicorn and being a partner in a throuple where 2 partners are married? Oh, and while I am at it, tips for successful throuples! Relationship Agreements, communication, etc
Answer:
What a great question!
Unicorn polyamory is the term for when two people who are in a relationship add a third party to the relationship. That third party, called the unicorn, is often a bisexual woman (although not exclusively), and they are often brought in for only sex. They are not typically an equal partner, and they must be beholden to the rules and structure of the existing partnership.
Throuple relationships have key differences from unicorn polyamory. Generally, the throuple is about three people who are all primary partners. Another major difference is how the group relationship moves forward once it’s established. In a triad, the rules and structure will be made and agreed upon by all. However, in unicorn poly, the assumption is that the couple will always make the rules, and the unicorn must follow them.
Any successful poly relationship requires excellent communication and time management. Everyone supports each other, and they aren’t afraid to express their feelings and needs. Jealousy is common, but if they can communicate with each other, jealousy can be resolved.
Schedule times to have family meetings so that you are all on the same page for time together, and how things are going for everyone involved. Address issues immediately before they have a chance to fester.
I highly recommend a few great books on polyamory for more tips on getting the most from your poly relationship.
- The Polyamory Toolkit: A Guidebook for Polyamorous Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
- More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (More Than Two Essentials) by Franklin Veaux
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
