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It’s the Little Things: Building Small Unique Moments In Your Relationship Will Nurture Your Mono-Poly Relationships

Uniqueness is underrated. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, are comparing themselves to others in order to fit in, but it's the fun little unique aspects of a relationship that make it special. Kindling those unique things is especially important for me in a mono-poly and likely most other relationships.

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For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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How To Use Mind Mapping To Pinpoint Your Ideal Submission

There are 3 things I'd like to focus on in this post. What your ideal relationship is, the structure you'd like to have and the level of protocol you dream of having. This works for kinky bedroom relationships and also full-time dynamics. Get out pen and paper because what we are going to do is make a map of our ideal relationship.

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Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups

One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a computer screen but to really taste things as they are, they need to get out and experience it.

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Formal Training – Do You Need It?

Do you need formal training? Sometimes that may be the only way it will work, but in most cases there is no need for structured time to learn a new behavior - it just comes with practice and education. Embrace that your life is continuously about study and practice.

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Is Monogamy a Dying Trend? The Rise of Poly in BDSM Relationships

On a few sites I frequent I have been getting an impression recently that poly relationships and playing with others outside your primary relationship are not only accepted but expected. I'm uncomfortable with this way of thinking.

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Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Sure it may turn you on, but you still get to decide how far you go to care for that. After all, BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body's responses to stimulus. It is not always sex.

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The Best Part About Submission is Our Ability to Choose

If asked what the best part about submission is there are a million ways to answer. But the best part is our ability to choose.

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Opening the Relationship When It's Already Rocky

Opening up an already unstable relationship is hard for everyone.

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An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

When people ask me what a D/s relationship is like, my first thought is that it is 'like any other relationship,' but that's not entirely accurate. Let me tell you what the common misconceptions are and then we can talk about the reality of a D/s relationship. You may be surprised to learn that they aren't as foreign as you think.

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