How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

What are Dress Protocols?

A dress protocol is established by a Dominant as the way a submissive is to present themselves for any specific situation. These can be basic grooming habits to very precise details to what to wear to dinner or bed. A lot of times these are the first rules established in a relationship. These can start out as directions for when and what to keep shaved, how to care for your hair, or if you can wear panties or not.

Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service

I'm sure we've all heard that this or that person comes with too much baggage. The reason I see that this is an issue at all in new relationships is due to the way it's handled. That baggage, whether it be debt, past partners still present somehow, grief, emotional issues or any other items that are brought in can weigh hard on the responsibilities of the new partner and how they interact with each other. Now, couple that with this unreal belief that a Dominant will 'fix' all that for the submissive and you are dealing with an explosive situation.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Am I Submitting or Not?

Here's are my questions. I have been communicating with a Dom for about two months and he insists that I am not submitting at all. I disagree but I wonder if I am afraid to submit. Is this normal? Secondly, he said that if I decide to submit I need to express it in a well thought out email. Any suggestions on what that email should say?

Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 4 - Endorphins

How are Endorphins related to play? Here's how Endorphins give you that happy pain blocking effect as well as euphoria.

Lost Wisdom - Submissive Mediation Monday

Every single person you encounter can teach you something about yourself and kink. Even the smallest things are worth passing on.

The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista's series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

Uprooting Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Learning How to Make Changes that Stick

After so many years of living a certain way under repeated cycles of self-sabotage, can one make changes? Is it possible to unlearn more destructive habits and learn how to implement thinking and behavior that will instead nurture a budding or existing relationship? Yes!