Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is […]
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
Full Question: Is a contract required for a D/s relationship? Answer: The short answer is no. A contract is not required for a D/s relationship. A D/s contract is a physical document outlining the D/s relationship. A contract is not a legally binding document but more of a symbolic agreement between two consenting individuals. Some
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Full Question: I’m trying to find my first munch meeting in NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Getting out and meeting kinky people face-to-face can be so intimidating. I understand the desire to make sure that you are walking into the safest environment possible. First,
How do you know if a munch is safe? Read More »
Full Question: If you’re relatively new to all of this and are building a dynamic with a new dom, what is your thought on randomly and only occasionally calling the safe word for the purpose of building the trust that they will, in fact, stop? Answer: It’s not uncommon for submissives to want to test
Using Your Safeword to Test Their Trust? Read More »
Full Question: My boyfriend and I are just starting to change our relationship to a total D/s one. We’ve been dating for 2 years and have no models for the change. What can we do to make the transition smooth and pain-free? Answer: What an exciting adventure you are embarking on! While any relationship transition
Full Question: Do most Doms like to see their handiwork afterward? I have a new Dom and would like to text pics and thank him for my bruises. I don’t quite have a read on him, so I was looking for opinions. Answer: The short answer is “maybe.” First, I want to clarify to those
Do Doms Like to See The Resulting Bruises from Playtime? Read More »
Full Question: How do I know if I’m being too emotionally dependent on my Dom? Answer: Emotional support is one of the biggest benefits of having a relationship. Your partners are there for you in times of need, and stress can offer you empathy and comfort, even guidance. Emotional dependence passes the point of support.
How do I know if I’m being too emotionally dependent on my Dom? Read More »
Full Question: What is the secret to a successful LDR? Answer: There’s no secret to successful relationships, no matter if they are long-distance or face-to-face. All relationships require both parties to work hard to cultivate the feelings and connection necessary to build that relationship and make it strong. Overall, a successful LDR requires effort, commitment,
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Full Question: Is it okay to fall in love with the dom I am with? And how can I communicate this with my dom? Answer: It is entirely normal for submissives to develop feelings for their Dominants. BDSM relationships can often involve intense emotional connections and trust, leading to romantic feelings. Most relationships are formed
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Full Question: How to get back on track after a sub drop? Answer: Drop is rough on a lot of people. Let me help you with tips and strategies to recover from the experience of sub drop, a feeling of emotional and physical exhaustion that can occur after intense submission. Sub drop is a normal
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Full Question: Trying to find my first munch meeting in the NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Finding a munch is a recommended first step for anyone interested in meeting people face-to-face and getting to know the larger community. Due to the Pandemic, finding munches
How do I find a safe munch near me? Read More »
Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and fulfilling way to expand your sexual horizons, and outdoor BDSM play can provide a unique and exhilarating experience for those interested in pushing their boundaries beyond the confines of a traditional indoor setting. However, engaging in BDSM activities in the great outdoors also comes with its own set
The Wild Side of BDSM: How to Safely Incorporate Outdoor Play into Your Kink Read More »
Full Question: What is a Day Collar? Do you have one? Could you share a picture? Answer: When people talk about Day Collars, they mean a collar that doesn’t look like an obvious leather BDSM collar. Generally, it is discreet in appearance, often passing for conventional jewelry. Some professions have wardrobe or safety rules regarding
What is a Day Collar? Do you have one? Read More »
Full Question: What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant? Answer: It takes some thought, that’s for sure. I suggest you start with a personal protocol. A personal protocol is a set of rules with a punishment/reward system that any submissive can use to help improve themselves
How Can I Satisfy My Need to Submit Without a Dominant? Read More »
Full Question: Do dominants normally celebrate their sub’s birthday? Answer: Whenever I get asked about what is normal, I’m reminded of a quote from Tori Spelling, “Everybody knows there’s no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective.” So, do Dominants celebrate their sub’s birthday? Yes. Or no. It
Do Dominants normally celebrate their submissive’s birthday? Read More »
Full Question: How do you know when it’s time to move on from a relationship? Answer: If you’re asking this question, it’s likely time. No one happy in their relationship asks them if they should leave the relationship. We pour a lot into our relationships. Here are four signs that it may be time to
How do you know when it’s time to move on from a relationship? Read More »
Full Question: Master and I both work outside the home. How does one keep the mindset of a slave while working and keep communication open? Answer: You may not like this answer, but you can’t keep it continuously. Have you ever seen a cartoon where a person is trying to balance a bunch of different
How do you keep in mindset of slave while working? Read More »
If the idea of putting something in your butt or enjoying anal sex makes you hesitate, you aren’t alone. Even though anal sex has made huge steps toward acceptance, it remains an underrated, almost taboo activity. Exploring anal training is often filled with discomfort, both mental and physical, but despite what porn or movies would
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Full Question: Advice for therapists who work with BDSM clients? Answer: I’d be happy to provide my thoughts on improving therapy for BDSM persons seeking therapy. First, it’s always hard for us to open up about these things, and we’ve been told to keep it a secret for a long time. We may need a
Advice for therapists who work with bdsm clients? Read More »
Full Question: How does one discern if a Dom is abusive? Answer: Dominants and submissives can be abusive to their partners. We’re going to focus on Dominants for this question, but if you are Dominant or in an egalitarian relationship, the following questions can help you discern abuse also. The core of BDSM is consent,
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